Today we have a guest post from Lior.
I didn’t believe it was possible to go for so long without a date, but it had been almost eight months and not even a sniff of male attention. It was time for drastic action.
I considered calling up some ex-boyfriends but decided at the last minute that I wasn’t that desperate plus I wanted something new. I wanted to feel like I was making a step forward for a change.
‘Online dating,’ my friend kept reminded me. ‘Everyone’s at these days,’ she said. I wasn’t convinced. To my mind, the thought of online dating conjured the image of geeky Internet-obsessed losers and I knew I definitely didn’t want to go out with him. When I admitted this to my friend, she laughed and told me to move out of the dark ages.
So I did. I sat down at the computer and signed up to a dating site. My first thought was, ‘boy, they ask a lot of questions!’ I realised that I never put so much thought into the kind of man I wanted.
I was asked what colour eyes I wanted him to have; what was his religion; did he practice; what was his job; how much money did he earn; did he live alone; did he have kids; did he want kids? The list was endless.
‘Fabulous,’ I thought. These were all the questions every girl is itching to ask a guy on the first date but doesn’t dare for fear of scaring him away. Now I was getting all that info upfront.
The next task was writing my own profile. I really wasn’t sure what angle to take so I went for the witty but serious approach revealing some of the things I love (like books and art) and my desire for a committed relationship.
The weeks went by. I scanned the scores of potential dates on an almost daily basis, religiously ‘winking’ and ‘smiling’ at the faces or profiles that caught my attention. And every day the site would tell me that yet another 100 guys had viewed my ‘profile’ but no one had felt the desire to get in touch or mail me.
By the time my profile hit 876 views and no emails, I was feeling more rejected that ever, my ego had plummeted and I was ready to throw both me and the computer out the window. Instead I made myself a stiff drink and decided I needed a new approach.
The dating site had misled me. I thought that because of all the questions online dating was the serious way to find a guy but I was wrong. This was about fun and that’s exactly what I needed, a bit of fun.
I changed my profile description to something more vague, aiming for mysterious but inviting. And I posted a photo of me. I had resisted doing this, as I didn’t relish the idea of being visually mauled by countless lonely nerds. But the fact is, profiles with photos get more attention. And I wanted attention.
And would you believe, it worked. Within days, I was getting male attention along with mails. I suddenly felt like Meg Ryan in ‘You Got Mail’ and my ego took a deep breath.
OK, so some of the mails/males have been a bit freaky. One guy, calling himself ‘Supernova’ is particularly insistent but his photo looked like a mug shot and I was trying to avoid guys that might be hiding a criminal record.
Another guy, with a much more suggestive name, wanted to meet me four days after first mailing me. His profile included a picture of him at the beach and trust me, the view was stunning. But his enthusiasm was a tad off-putting. Plus I was trying to avoid guys with a sideline as a gigolo.
So I realise now that online dating is going to take a bit of trawling but that’s ok. At least now, I am getting the chance to do some rejecting of my own. And even if I haven’t found exactly what I’m looking for just yet, I definitely have a much better idea of what I’m want. Now that can’t be bad.