Attraction

Your Crowning Glory


(My wifey did my hair with this cool new “wave” iron, the Goody Heat Wave Creator Styling Iron)

This weekend I had some girlfriends over. Nate went off on a bow fishing trip and left us alone to chat it up all day and night. It’s amazing how women can just sit around and do basically nothing but talk! Men typically get together for an activity, usually something competitive.

Women get together and bounce off ideas, catch each other up on the latest of news, talk about guys and beauty and food and everything in between. It is so rejuvenating. I totally believe in adult sleep overs. Why do we ever stop doing them?

I made grilled sea bass and mango salsa for dinner, we played Bonanza and Mexican Train and stuffed ourselves with cheese balls and red wine in the evening, and in the morning we made dutch babies, checked out pinterest, did each others hair, went out for burgers, then stayed in to watch Young Adult.

One topic that we talked about was hair. I’ve always put more emphasis on making my face look nice when I go out, but one of my friends said something that made me think I should put more focus on my hair. She said,

Whenever you first see someone, the first thing you notice isn’t their face, it’s their hair.

And I thought about it, and it’s true. Probably because there’s more hair to see than face, and because you can see hair from the front, back and sides, whereas you can only see your face from the front and a little from the side.

AND, when guys are checking you out, sometimes it’s hard for them to look at you directly in your eye (nervousness), but you know for sure they are looking at you from behind and from the side, and from both of those views, you can see a lot of hair. So yeah, it just got me thinking how it’s so important for us women to make an effort with our hair! Just a silly little thought for you ladies this Monday morning:)

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  1. http://pro-dissertations.com/

    Very interesting article! Thx dude =)

  2. GI joe

    Noticed something a few weeks ago that no guy friend of mine has any insight on whatsoever. First, a little background, for guys being with a girl he likes is a relaxing thing. Girls make us laugh, they smell good, they’re soft, and it’s the best thing in the world to watch a girl’s thought process bounce around like a pinball when she’s excited! The point here is that it’s mostly not a stressful experience when a guy decides to build a relationship with a women. But I hear time and again from my female friends and women I have dated that the opposite is true for women. Apparently, even if they adore the guy, there is enough stress in building a relationship with a guy that it cause a complete breakdown!

    So the question is, what causes this stress and what can we as men do to help minimize it?

    • MidoriLei

      GI joe,

      GREAT question.

      I think part of the reason that it can be stressful to build a relationship with a guy is that women’s needs are different and more complex than a man’s needs. (for the most part) Men need to feel needed and respected and they are happy to do absolutely nothing but “hang out” with a woman. Women want to have fun, they want excitement, they want men to make an effort. They want men to not always be “laid back” but actually make some plans, not just say, “Oh, whatever you want honey.” Men are much more happy and comfortable in the “comfortable stage,” women are happy in the “chasing stage” because that’s the stage where the men work. That’s when men make the most effort to please you, to meet your needs, to impress you. It’s not a relaxing thing for a woman to settle into a relationship sometimes because she feels she is losing that upper hand. Things are getting “comfortable.” The guy isn’t putting as much effort, but she is still there wanting to please, wanting to smell nice, look good, and there’s the guy ready to just chill and relax.

      Women also need more than just fun and excitement. They also need you to be there to “talk.” Women, almost 100% of the time need to talk more than men do. Men, if they don’t watch themselves can easily fall into the stage where they start to “ignore” their women. I don’t think they mean to, but I think that they enjoy tv and sitting there with their women and think that is quality time while the woman is antsy and wants to spend time with you WITHOUT distractions, just talking and connecting heart to heart. Women are a bundle of emotions and contradictions and quality time for a woman is VERY different than quality time for a man.

      Our needs are also different. We pay more attention to men’s needs than men pay attention to a woman’s needs, not because men mean to not be attentive but because they are clueless. They assume that if they are happy and content, their woman must also be happy and content. But if you are not spending time with her without distractions, just the two of you, talking and connecting, and if she feels like she’s not getting enough attention or if she feels ignored, OR if she feels like you are acting differently and not trying as hard because you’re now in a relationship and you don’t make any plans anymore like you used to but you’re okay with just doing “whatever,” I guarantee you she is stressed, feeling neglected and antsy for something to change.

      So how do you help minimize this stress? MAKE PLANS. Listen and talk to her and spend time with her WITHOUT other distractions like phone, work related stuff, tv or the computer. Realize that a woman’s needs are different from a man’s needs. FIGURE OUT her love language and speak it to her.

      Hope that sheds some light!

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