You Attract Who You Are
You can’t expect more than you can dish out.
A famous 85 year old matchmaker has successfully matched over 50 married couples. Quite impressive. She’s good at what she does because she calls a spade a spade. She says that in her experience, people’s expectations are not in line with what they can offer.
One day this overweight man came in and filled out an application. He said he wanted a 6’0 statuesque blonde model. The feisty matchmaker quickly got up, led him to a full length mirror, and pointing at the reflection said, “Now if you were a 6’0 statuesque blonde model, would you go out with this guy?”
Ouch.
In the matchmaking industry, the majority of overweight men want skinny women. The majority of short women want tall guys.
People, set high standards for yourselves not only in what you want but in what you can offer. Some things you can’t change like height, yes. In those cases, you might want to consider being a little more realistic. But some things you can change. Take care of yourselves if want a person who takes care of themselves. Deal with your hurts, hang-ups, bad habits and addictions if you want someone who’s also dealt with their own baggage and isn’t going to pile it on you. Read more and develop a love of learning if you want someone smart.
But opposites attract, you rationalize. True, but I really think that has more to do with personalities. When it comes to attracting quality people, the majority of the time, you attract who you are.
January 1st, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Excellent blog.
March 15th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Yes, we do attract who we are, but, I am working on making changes.
June 4th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
I guess that is true to some extent, although I’ve seen many exceptions to the rule. Maybe sometimes love is blind, and people fall for opposites to themselves? Just a thought
June 4th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
true doug, so true. with love, there is no rule!
July 8th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Heh. Funny. One of the things I tell my male friends when they’re looking to pick up girls is “Find someone who looks like you.” Ever notice that happy couples look alike?
January 20th, 2010 at 10:32 pm
[...] Strong people attract strong people in relationships. Honest people attract honest people. Stable people attract stable people. Unselfish people attract unselfish people. etc etc. (This reminded me of this article: You attract who you are) [...]
May 12th, 2010 at 7:42 am
A great post! Like does attract like. There are good reasons why the likes of Angelina Jolile are with the likes of Brad Pitt. I believe that people have over inflated expectations based on the fact that dating services give them choices that they perhaps did not have 20 years ago.
June 21st, 2010 at 2:03 pm
a super blog if i ever seen one. If you are the type to update your website daily, then you have gained one daily reader in me today. Please keep up the powerul work.
September 4th, 2010 at 1:34 pm
interesting post, I got a love and hate relationship with this post
…
I agree with the idea of you have to improve yourself to attract the right person, and over all I agree with the idea of you attract who you are.
But the thing about having high standard… well… I know that there are girls and guys who have ridiculous standard on materialistic stuff which is stupid. But I believe it’s good to have high standards in general at least you’re aiming high.
September 10th, 2010 at 3:26 am
somehow that makes sense, never looked at it that way.
November 26th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
I love the direct point made in the article.
Spades attracting Spades
With enough effort, you can attract other suits but sometimes people need to think realistically if they want to find someone to make them happy.
No matter who you are, confidence is key!
Happy hunting everyone!
January 5th, 2011 at 8:24 pm
This is so true! Being in this line, i have to agree that you attract who you are. No doubt we all want something better, at the end of the day however, it helps to remain realistic.
February 2nd, 2011 at 10:02 am
Very good post! This is so true yet we often forget about it.
July 28th, 2011 at 1:53 pm
This is so true. Kind of reminds me of the saying, you are what you eat. I never actually thought about it but you made sense. If you are, as you said an overweight man. You can’t expect a 6 foot model. If you take care of yourself, you will atract someone who takes care of themselves.
Nice post. Really enjoyed it.
-Chris