Confidence

Why You’re in The Friend Zone

Word.


Don’t Go on Pseudo Dates

I’d also like to add, that if you did ask her out on a date and she said no, then you’re in the friend zone because you continue to be an emotional crutch for her and still take her out on pseudo dates (meaning you still pay for meals) but you never get any affection or any sign that she actually wants to date you.

Guys, if she only wants to hang out, if she only wants to be your friend,

DON’T FOOT THE BILL!!!!!!

This is the best way to be USED and ABUSED.

Friends pay for each other, you say.

And I say, But they take turns.

I have a guy friend who pseudo dated a girl for almost a year.

It broke my heart because it was painfully obvious this girl was only using him.

She would say things like, “Oh yeah, this guy does my yard for free… This guy does this for me…This guy does that…”

And my friend couldn’t even see that HE was in that same category. “This guy pays for my meals…”

The Cute Girl Who Uses Men for Favors

GUYS, get it in your head that there are women out there who have no intention of EVER SEEING YOU AS A ROMANTIC INTEREST.

There are some women who literally use men just for what they can do for them, not expecting to give anything in return.

They use their cuteness and allure to keep men close for favors of all sorts.

Okay back to where I was…

Make SURE you do this if you are hanging out with a girl “friend”

If she actually likes hanging out with you, you better make it clear every second of every minute that you are there for NON PLATONIC purposes.

I’m talking MAJOR FLIRTATION, COMPLIMENTING, and even trying to find ways to innocently touch her.

If you are not running the risk of making her feel uncomfortable, then

YOU ARE FALLING INTO THE FRIEND ZONE!!!!!

You should either make her uncomfortable so she doesn’t want to hang out anymore OR she caves in and she decides she’s not thoroughly repulsed by you so she’ll give you a chance on that date.

Get used to the idea that it takes more than one go at it

Guys, you have to understand that with women, it’s not always a one time encounter to get a yes or a no.

Sometimes, most of the time, you’re going to have to kind of badger her.

Now if she tells you a resounding NO! Like, the kind of “no” that reads more like “Go to hell!” Then obviously you might not want to bark up that tree again.

This is where a bit of discretion is needed.

You need to decide if that first “no” was given with hesitation.

With more of an invitation.

A challenge of sorts.

And guys are thinking, Oh but that means she’s playing games!

Is she playing a little hard to get?

Maybe it’s because guys sometimes ask a woman for her number just to see how many numbers they can get.

And the girl never gets a call.

Or maybe it’s because she wants to know that you don’t give up that easy when you want something that badly.

Please use this line.

Please pretty please.

Next time you see her, just start it off with,

“So, how ’bout that date?”

And grin with confidence.

And lean against that wall like cool guys do in the movies.

Because if you do this, I promise you will look like you have confidence running through every vein in your body.

What if the worst possible thing happens

And if the worst thing that could happen, actually does happen- she rolls her eyes while she completely avoids eye contact and says with a sigh of irritation,

“OMG, didn’t I already tell you no?!”

Then now you know what the worst possible thing is. And if it does happen, you can just excuse yourself by saying as you walk away,

“The first no didn’t kill me. And the second no didn’t kill me either. One of these days I’m going to wear you down.”

And that’s either when she’s going to stop you in your tracks and tell you straight up,

“Look, I’m never going to say yes, so just don’t waste your time.”

And to that you just say,

“Alright. Alright. You can’t say I didn’t try.”

And keep smiling.

For sure keep smiling.

Because that shows that you’re confident and you’re not big dealin’ it.

She’s a cute girl.

BUT that’s all she is to you at this point.

Now you can have your closure and dust yourself off for the next cute girl you encounter…

Or if she doesn’t say anything, then it’s an invitation to keep at it.

Maybe threes a charm?

Whatever you do, don’t ever make her feel like you’ve taken sex out of the equation. (hence the need for asking out on dates, constant flirtation, and complimenting)

If she starts thinking of you like her best friend, you’re so deep in the friend zone, you might as well become a eunuch.

You’ll have no use for those things anyways.

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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