For Girls in a Relationship

Why You Should Plan Things


So ladies and gents, Valentine’s Day is officially three days away. What are you planning to do? Singles? Why not make a plan to have all your single girl friends together to go out on the town and meet some people? Or maybe stay in and watch girl power chick flicks while you all recount exactly WHY you broke up with all your loser ex boyfriends? Couples, are you planning a nice event for your beloved?

Here’s my case for planning things as opposed to just going with the flow:
your happiness depends on it.

Did you know that happiness is three fold? The happiest people around know this to be true. Happiness involves anticipating an activity, relishing in the activity, and then reminiscing the activity.

Anticipating an activity:

If you don’t plan ahead, you basically forfeit 1/3rd of the maximum amount of joy you can get out of any activity. Part of the FUN of doing anything, is being excited about it even happening. You know what I’m talking about right? Like all the moments leading up to a first kiss with a guy. If you think about it, sometimes the anticipation is even more fun than the reality! (Especially if he was a bad kisser!) BUT doing the actual act, as bad as the outcome ends up being DOESN’T detract from all the excitement and happiness that came about just thinking about it possibly happening. This is the power of our thoughts! Thoughts can bring you just as much happiness as actual events. Crazy, huh?!

Relishing in the activity:

Once you do reach an activity, the important thing is to keep two things in mind.

1. Be flexible. Planning is important for the sake of enjoying the anticipation that proceeds an activity, but flexibility is important because things don’t always turn out how we expect. If we expect the unexpected, we will find less disappointing moments in our lives. Instead we’ll be thinking… “hmmm, this adventure is turning out different than what I imagined!”

2. Once you get to the activity you’ve looked forward to, focus on the present moment.
Don’t compare it to a previous moment. Don’t plan out the next activity quite yet. Just simmer, relax, and enjoy what is presently unfolding.

Reminiscing the activity

One last key to happiness in any activity, is to talk about it and enjoy it after it has passed. This you can do years to come. If you have pictures, you’ll have more memories to recount.

Incorporating these three elements in any activity I love, even something as simple as having dinner out with friends or date night in with hubby has really increased my overall joy in the day to day. While I’m at work, I’m anticipating and looking forward to dinner with my bestie and good friend followed by live jazz piano and drinks. In the moment, I’m focusing on all my senses, tasting the food, listening to my friends tell stories, hearing the music in the background, looking at all the beautiful food set before me. And the day after, I’ll recount my night with hubby and reminisce. It’s been great! Try it sometime:)

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

Join the discussion

  1. Ellie Sullivan

    Love it! Friday my best friend and I (both single) have declared “Galentine’s Day” and we will be spending the day driving around Asheville, NC attending random wine tastings and shops! We’re both super excited!

  2. Alex

    This is great advice – planning/comparing while your supposed to be enjoying the moment can really throw a spanner in the works. This will serve as a nice prep to whoever reads it! 🙂

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