Confidence

Why It’s More Important to Be “Interested” Than it is to be “Interesting” to Women

Body Language

Some men have the misconception that women are impressed with all they know and all they can do.

How things work in Mars

This would make sense since men are from Mars where their friendships with other men involve doing stuff together and being competitive. In Mars, DOING something makes other people take notice. So they approach women and try to pull out all their magic tricks thinking their trivia or their voice impersonations will impress the woman they are seeking. Men view friendship in terms of doing “stuff” with others be it fishing, gaming, or watching a football game. They see friendship in terms of similar interests, especially if there is some way to be competitive.

How things work in Venus

Women on the other hand are completely different. Women are from Venus, where their friendships with women involve sharing, communicating and nurturing each other– the very opposite of being competitive. Women can enjoy the company of other women over tea, just talking about their day, their families and their lives. That’s why so many women enjoy watching “Sex in the City,” because they see four women always sitting around a table, TALKING.

What happens when a man from Mars takes a woman from Venus out on a date

So man from Mars takes woman from Venus out on a date. She is expecting to get to know the man better. He is there to impress her. He wants more than anything to be interesting. She just wants to know that he’s interested in her and wants to share details of her life and learn more about his life. All his efforts to sound interesting make him sound like a know it all, and all his efforts to showcase his skills and tricks makes her feel like he is trying to hard.

What’s going through their minds

She wants to connect.
He wants to impress.

She is looking for a man who is confident, and true confidence displays itself in humility and a true interest and concern for others. He’s not interested in me at all. He just wants to put on a show, she thinks.

All the while he’s thinking she’s got to be impressed with his knowledge and interests, when he’s really boring her to death.

All this can be avoided by just doing one thing during dates:

    Make sure you are asking questions and listening

    more

    than you are trying to impress and share information.

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

Join the discussion

  1. allan

    I think this works with any relationship (like friendships), not just romantic. Everybody wants to be validated! If you’re interesting all the time, people either put you on a pedestal and not a peer (unapproachable) or think you’re a douchey braggart (avoidable).

    • MidoriLei

      allan,

      So true! I had a friend who was too “interesting.” It turned me and other people off. In her effort to be interesting, she sounded like a know-it-all. 🙁

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