“The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.”
Do you ever notice a guy just because he notices you first? When I was in college, I realized this truth: Sometimes, women start liking men, simply because they like the feeling of being desired by a man. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with liking a man who liked you first, but the problem occurs when a woman cannot look past that, and see whether or not that man is actually worthy of her affection. Sometimes women blame men for being jerks later on, saying they were “smooth talkers.” These women’s ears ring at the beginning of their relationship from all the flattery that a man bestows.
“Has anyone ever told you that your eyes have golden specks in the sun?” “Man, you’re so beautiful, I can’t take my eyes off of you.” “You’re so amazing, I don’t know how I got so lucky.” “Sometimes you just leave me breathless.”
These are all wonderful sentiments, but they are all so one-sided. While appreciating his gushing praise and adoration, don’t forget to listen for cues that tell you what this man is all about, who he is, and what he’s like. Instant chemistry and attraction plus flattery does not equate a genuine gentleman.
Let me repeat:
“Chemistry/Attraction + Flattery/Adoration = Gentleman” can be a false equation.
I’m just saying it’s good to know that the man’s desire for you plays such a big role in you desiring him, and that it is simply not wise to evaluate a man in the height of these emotions. These feelings need to be taken with a grain of salt. Who is Mr. Flattery behind the flattery?
Ellen, nurse in Sacramento
My friend Ellen met a guy at a get together with church friends. We’ll call him Harry. The first week they got together, Ellen was bouncing off the walls, telling all her friends about Harry, and even boldly saying, ” I think he’s the one!” Within a week, they had both met each other’s parents.
Fast forward to week two. In this short amount of time the sentiments changed drastically from “I think he’s the one,” to ”I can’t stand hearing his name! I’m not even attracted to him, what was I thinking?”
It’s a good thing she realized quickly that behind Harry’s flattery, he was a clingy, suffocating, and insecure guy. In hindsight, from the beginning she wasn’t even attracted to him, but his appeal came from his desire to be with her. If he never noticed her, she would’ve never noticed him.