My vice is food. I regularly have issues trying not to overeat. And I tend to be too concerned with my appearance (vanity). Nate’s vice is cars. I joke around and say stuff like, “It’s a disease!” In the time that we’ve dated and been married (2 years dating, almost 3 years married) he has bought a boat, a motorcycle, a Porsche, and most recently, a BMW. Did I mention he already has a jeep? And he’s sold another Porsche and a Samurai? And he’s an adrenaline junkie.
But I knew this about him when I married him. I know one day we will probably have a bigger garage full of more cars. And he’s never going to buckle up in his vehicles (until we have kids) and he’s always going to speed a little on his motorcycle. And he’s always going to be doing something scary crazy like white water rafting or skydiving. There will always be an episode of Top Gear or Chasing Cars on our DVR. And I’ve come to terms with all this. I can’t stop him. I’ve just got to accept this all. And I have. Completely knowing him and accepting him has freed me up to love him better.
And he knew I’d have my food binge struggles and my constant concern with my weight. He knew that I’d always be concerned with fashion and get depressed when the hair dresser messed up my color or I got a bad hair cut. He knew sometimes I’d be so frustrated at my eating that I’d end up crying because I was so stuffed and I’d let myself down again. He knew I’d probably be changing my diet a gazillion times and be excited about each one at the start, and frustrated by day three. He also knew that I’d probably be wanting to take pictures WAY more than he’s willing, and that sometimes it would annoy him. But you know what? The point is that he knows me, all of me, and he loves me nonetheless.
My advice about vices
All of us have vices. The important thing when it comes to relationships is to FIND OUT what your significant other’s vice is BEFORE you tie the knot. Know what you’re getting yourself into. See if you’re willing to live with their vice(s) because you will most likely spend a LIFETIME trying to deal with them.
Too good to be true
“Oh but he’s perfect!” you’re thinking. Or “She’s an angel!”
Nobody is perfect. If your significant other seems too good too be true, do not proceed into a serious lifelong commitment. You have to find out these things so you can determine BEFOREHAND if you can live with this person. I’ll take Nate’s car obsession and need for adrenaline over most anything else.
Need some help trying to find their vice? Here are several common ones:
Is he or she…
1. a sex addict?
2. addicted to porn?
3. a miser? hoarding money and never able to enjoy it?
4. addicted to money? a workaholic, putting all value on accomplishments?
5. a hot head? super charming in public but has another scary side?
6. addicted to gambling? addicted to the thrill?
7. addicted to food? struggling with weight and body image issues?
8. insecure and possessive? trust issues?
9. a womanizer/ a woman who can’t be tamed? Never able to be satisfied with one person?
10. lazy? a gold digger or a lazy bum?
11. egotistical? Stubborn and can never admit they are wrong?
12. an alcoholic?
13. addicted to pain killers?
14. a drug addict?
16. passive aggressive?
17. a spoiled brat who will manipulate people to get their way?
Everyone has a dark side. Do you know your significant other’s?
I agree about the importance of finding out these things before getting too far into a relationship. Have regular conversations and being aware will help you to spot the vices of your partner.