This question has been asked several times. The latest is from a guy who’s interested in a girl he sees at the gym.
Here’s another reader’s question:
How would you suggest approaching women that are COMPLETE strangers? In particular what if I’m walking along and I see an attractive woman also walking. I honestly have no idea how I would initiate the conversation because in my experience if I am alone and someone walks up to me and wants to start talking to me and I’ve never seen the person before, it makes me feel awkward because I automatically think “Why is this person talking me? What does this person want from me?”
Do I need to build rapport with her or is it enough to walk up to an attractive woman and just say, “Hi. I’m Philip. I saw you standing/sitting here and you look so beautiful that I want to take you out to dinner.”
Gentlemen, gentlemen. These are great concerns. Here’s what you do:
It’s enough to ask a stranger out without building rapport, but your chances of securing the date increase with more rapport. Otherwise, she is only saying yes to her attraction to you, not to possible charm and flirtation you could throw out. If you give some rapport, she could have more to go by to see if there is “chemistry.” I wouldn’t say, “Hi, I’m philip. I saw you standing/sitting here and you look so beautiful that I want to take you out to dinner.” Although that’s the truth, it sounds like you ONLY want to take her out because she’s beautiful… Does that make sense? Also, more conversation = more time. And More time= more trust. More trust= more likely she will say yes.
Just introduce yourself like this: “Hi, I’m Philip. What’s your name?”
And then it is always good to be apologetic because you are interrupting someone’s day and being apologetic shows humility. It also gets women to trust you sooner.
Say, “Sorry this might seem really forward but if I don’t say something to you right now, I know I’ll be hitting myself on the head thinking I just let such a beautiful woman pass me by and I may never see her again.”
Do you see how it’s complimenting her indirectly? It’s easier than a direct compliment because direct compliments sometimes have the unnecessary pressure for the recipient to respond. I have nothing against complimenting a woman though. I just think indirect ones are a great way to start things off if you’re feeling gun shy.
It also tells her you think she’s attractive without making it seem like it’s the only reason you want to take her out (even though at this point that is true, women want to feel like you want to “get to know them better.” If she thinks you are only going out with her cuz she’s pretty, that’s when she’ll question if you are only interested in a physical relationship)
If you don’t want to chit chat further as you’re probably going to be super nervous, you can say…
“I’ve gotta run but can I call you sometime?” And then if she says yes, just take out your phone and say, “425 area code?” to get the ball rolling.
And as you leave tell her to have a great day and tell her you will call her:)
if she says no, the exit strategy is to smile and say, “Well, I’m sorry for interrupting you. Enjoy the rest of your day.”