You know how people are attracted to certain qualities in the opposite sex?

• She can cook.
• She can speak four languages.
• She can paint.
• She can play the piano.
• The guy can sing.
• He can dance.
• He’s in a band.
• He can quote Shakespeare.
• He has mad nunchuck skills.



• He can fill in the blank.

These things are all skills.

And really, stuff like this that impresses people doesn’t matter at all.

Since I’ve been talking to Sleepless in Seattle Boy, I’ve come to realize that I’m not looking for a person who can do certain things (skills), although those things are impressive.

In the grand scheme of things and what constitutes a great relationship, they’re really not important.

Why?

Because you can always acquire skills.

What I realized, talking to this man of character, is that eventhough I’m highly impressed with what he’s accomplished and what he can do (He can build anything!), I’m more drawn to him because of who he is.

His character.

So instead of being attracted with what a man can do, I realize I’m more attracted with what a man is.

You know, character traits he possesses.

Stuff that you can’t learn in a class, like you would a skill.

Stuff like:

• Loyalty
• Honesty
• Integrity
• Selflessness
• Compassion
• Generousity
• Humility
• Confidence
• Work ethic
• Tolerance
• Dependability
• Reliability
• Stability
• Sacrifice
• Respect
• Patience
• Optimism
• Laid back attitude
• Positivity
• Thoughtfulness
• Contentment
• Benevolence
• Peace
• Goodness
• Kindness
• Gentleness
• Temperance
• Moderation
• Faithfulness
• Self-Control

I say these things have more of an appeal to me as opposed to skills because character is what you look at when you decide whether or not you respect someone.

I know I cannot be with a man who I can’t respect just because I know that respect is what he needs most from me, and I wouldn’t be able to give him that.

Once you get to know what a person is all about, they either garner your respect naturally or they don’t.

If they are the kind of person you respect, then you don’t really even have to try to respect them.

You will automatically have an admiration for who they are.

You’ll be inspired to be a better person because of them.

You’ll want to stick around because deep down, the part of you who wants to be a good person through and through knows that if you hang out with this person enough, their goodness will start to rub off on you.

My point?

Don’t look for a person with a bunch of skills.

Skills can be learned. (Heck, you can learn them together! How fun!)

Character is a lot harder to produce on demand.

You can’t learn character in a classroom.

It’s character that determines whether or not you respect a person.

And every successful partnership involves two people who respect each other.