“Exuberance is beauty.”
In college, I was talking to a guy about what makes a woman beautiful. We got into the conversation because none of his ex girlfriends were a “type.” His current girlfriend also didn’t look anything like his previous girlfriends. I couldn’t figure out what they all had in common. And as I’ve met different men, I’ve noticed that many men don’t have “types.”
This gentleman shed some light on what attracts him to women. He said,
“There’s something in a woman’s smile that is inviting. Or when you look at her eyes, that’s when you see beauty. I’m drawn to women whose eyes are vibrant. Women who exude joy.”
The French have a term for this, “Joie de vivre,” joy of living.
I have a friend who believes that just finding that right guy will cure her depression. Her happiness is attached to the idea of a man fulfilling her life. And so every time she meets a guy, she scares him off. Her neediness translates into moving things forward too fast.
Not only is this belief not correct thinking, it’s also a self defeating attitude, because men are attracted to women who exude joy. Ladies, just something to think about. If you can’t find joy in your life apart from men, you’re going to repel men, or if they do bite, you will be putting too much pressure on him to fulfill you. Either way, it’s lose-lose.
So how do you find joy?
Find work or create work that is meaningful and fulfilling.
Make sure you have close friends who you feel completely authentic with.
Support a cause you believe in.
Nurture and explore your spirituality.
Take your pleasure seriously.
I’m talking about doing things regularly that make you feel happy- massages, concerts, playing music, playing sports, being around animals, knitting, spending time in nature, indulging in foodie adventures, taking long baths, spending time in bookstores, traveling, antiquing, writing poetry, playing competitive sports, cooking or baking.
Whatever your thing is, do it, and do it regularly.
The point is, take responsibility for your own happiness, and chances are, you will attract more men.