What Makes a Man Attractive?

In my last post, I talked about the importance of belief and intention. Today I want to talk about about what it takes to change your belief.

Maybe you saw my video and thought, Of course I want to believe that I can get a woman, but I don’t know how to believe in myself. I don’t know how to gain that kind of confidence that attracts women.

How to Believe in Yourself

Today I want to explain belief. In my video, I asked you to believe in yourself, to believe that you can capture a woman’s interest and hold it for the long term.

If you don’t believe that is true, it just means that you believe something else.

You may believe you cannot capture a woman’s interest because you don’t think that women find you attractive. Maybe you don’t feel you have the personality or the charm, the wit or the intellect. Maybe you’ve been in a relationship with the worst kind of woman, the kind that takes everything selfishly and leaves you with nothing but a hollow soul and a feeling of worthlessness. Maybe your home was no place for affirmation of any kind and all you heard were words that brought you shame. Maybe you don’t think that you’re very manly.

Everyone believes in something. Belief is synonymous with faith.

Romans 10:17 says

“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”

What this means is that belief (faith) comes from hearing truth (word of Christ).

Somewhere down the road you started believing lies about what it means to be masculine or manly. You started believing lies about yourself or about women or both. Maybe your best friend got all the girls and you’re nothing like him. In fact you’re the complete opposite, and so in your mind the lie you started believing was, Women only fall for men like that. I’m not like that. They won’t fall for me.

Maybe you started believing the lie that the media has created– that women are all about the hot guy, the tall guy, the muscular guy, or the rich guy.

And it’s true, some women do fall for those traits, but God made women attracted to certain things that will never change. And the most valuable women will be the women who are attracted to you for these reasons, not the reasons the media creates.

If you want to change your belief, you have to be hear the truth so that the lies you believe will be shattered.

John 8:32 says

“and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Don’t you want to be set free from the lies you’ve come to believe?


So I’m going to tell you the number one quality that ALL WOMAN ALWAYS will find attractive. It never goes out of style. It never loses its appeal.

Is it…

A square jaw, a gorgeous smile, kind eyes, bed head hair, 2 day stubble, a toned physique?


There is another thing, a stronger quality that holds a woman’s attraction. This thing has everything to do with what makes a man masculine.

The most masculine trait a man can possess is the fact that he’s not a boy, he’s a man. What separates boys from men is key.


The Difference Between Boys and Men Part I

  • Boys need the to be watched over. They need the care of an authority figure to make sure they are doing the right thing.

  • Men are the authority figure. They set the example for others. They do the right thing when no body is looking. They can be depended on.
  • Boys live at home. Their mothers cook for them and do their laundry.
  • Men take on the responsibility of providing their own shelter and food.

I guarantee that if you ask any woman, 10 out of 10 women will agree that men who are responsible are attractive.

The Best Man I Know

My husband is the best man I know. I say this all the time to everyone because it’s so true. I have so much respect for him, who he is as a person. He grew up without his father around, which I guess forced him to feel more responsible at an earlier age. He saw how hard his mom worked, how as a single mom, she raised four kids making $12 an hour. I think as a boy, when you see this, you gain so much respect for you mom, and it makes you want to make her proud. It makes you want to not be a burden to her because she already works too hard.

Maybe that’s why he’s always taken responsibility for himself. Why he didn’t waste time moving from being a boy to becoming a man. Why he bought a house at 21 when most men wait until their 30s. Why he takes amazing care of his mom, always making sure she gets a call every week. Why he helps people with house projects without expecting anything in return. Why he’s the kind of guy who didn’t hestitate to offer to drive an hour and a half, go on a ferry just to help his anxious grandmother turn off the headlights to her car while her husband was in the hospital. He drove all the way to the ferry, got a flat tire and she called him back to tell him she figured it out. Did he tell her all the trouble he went through? No. Because he’s thinking of her.

He is a man who truly understands masculinity, and why I find myself falling in love with him more and more and more every day. He looks for needs and finds ways to meet those needs. He grew up without a father in his life. He didn’t use that as an excuse to not have his life together. He didn’t blame him. Instead he actually reached out to him and he initiated the relationship. He made it happen. He moved to Washington and pursued a relationship with his dad that probably wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t initiate.

It’s so easy to trust Nate to lead our family as the head of our household, and it’s so easy to respect him because he is so responsible.

He’s the best man I know. Don’t you want your woman to say the same thing about you?

The Difference Between Boys and Men Part 2

  • Boys wait around for others to take on responsibility. Men initiate.
  • Boys blame others. Men swallow their pride and own up to their part.
  • Boys get defensive. Men think it through and own up to their faults.
  • Boys make excuses. Men do what duty calls for no matter what.
  • Boys complain and don’t do make changes. Men move to action.

    REMEMBER: Femininity is most drawn to masculinity.

Regardless of what you see on tv or with other guys, masculinity is not “Who can chug down the most shots! Who can belch the loudest? Who has the loudest muffler? Who has the biggest muscles? Who has the biggest 4 x 4?! Who can win at arm wrestling? Who can be big and tough and rough and dirty?!”

True masculinity, the kind that takes responsibility, will give you more confidence in your own manliness than any of that. It is a humble, quiet, self assured kind of confidence that will bring you far in life and with women.

Being responsible will bring you confidence. It will make you feel capable, and that will translate into viewing yourself in a better light.

Have you ever met a responsible insecure man? I haven’t.

If you don’t think you’re attractive, witty, charming, funny, fit or strong and you feel powerless because you feel these things are beyond your control, then begin with something you can control,

Take Responsibility.

  • For yourself.

  • For your parents.
  • For your siblings.
  • For your future.
  • For someone else.

Responsible men are attractive because it’s the most manly trait of all. It shows generosity, selflessness, a sacrificial heart, a servant’s heart.

It makes you RESPECTABLE.

And respect always always always has to proceed love.

Want to know more about how to be more masculine?

I highly recommend the website The Art of Manliness.

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

Join the discussion

  1. YL

    Hi! I’m a woman and what you wrote is so true! Thanks for voicing women’s thoughts.

    • MidoriLei


      You’re welcome! Thanks for your comment:) It’s nice so other guys can see I’m not the only one who feels this way!

  2. Scratch

    Thanks again, I mean it.

  3. MidoriLei


    You’re welcome:)

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