So my hubby and I are reading this book together: “Traits of a Lasting Marriage.” I think the advice below can be for anyone seeking a long term relationship:
Marriages are held together by understanding and meeting each other’s needs
Here’s more of the excerpt: (my emphasis in bold)
- That understanding comes through taking sufficient time with each other to discuss problems, joys, dreams, goals, decisions, family matters– to talk until you really know how each thinks and feels about all areas of life and to keep up with the ways each is growing and changing.
Couples who habitually dash past each other in the bedroom and bathroom as they hurriedly dress for work, or quickly gulp dinner standing at the kitchen counter before they rush off to separate meetings, or fall exhausted into bed late every night without energy to talk, cuddle, or make love are not building commitment. They are building disaster.
Reasearchers have proven a simple principle which, if we think about it, we all know is true. Generally speaking, couples who get divorced have spent less time with each other than couples who stay married.
Communication and compatibility are important to marital success, but taking time to be with each other has been found to be more important.
We are deliberately using the term taking time because you do have to “take” the time from all the other forces in your daily life that squeeze in on your marriage relationship. We have found it helpful to schedule time with each other, which we consider as important as any other calendar appointment.
We also have small daily times with each other that we keep strictly for each other–eating, reading the mail together, taking walks, chatting before going to sleep. You can build your own “together” times with whatever works for you.
Remember, aside from spending time with God, spending time with your spouse is the most important thing you have to do.