What can you trust? I thought I already had the answer. I knew I ‘knew’ the answer, but Hurricane Harvey taught it to me in a profound and tangible way that I need to share. Plus I need to explain my absence from writing since December 2017…
As many of you know Hurricane Harvey devastated Houston in August 2017. Most people were affected.
I was one of them. My work flooded and my home took on minimal water, especially compared to other homes in my area and through out the metro-plex. However, it was enough water that I was displaced from August to April of 2018.
I thought I could handle it, and I did for the better part of 8 months, but to be able to do so, I had to let somethings slide.
The “victims” to my trauma were: working out, eating healthy, socializing and writing. So a lot of what I felt like made me “ME” fell to the side.
And so did everything I had ever put my trust in.
My family is wonderful, but as I saw with the passing of my beloved grandparents in 2017, my family is not permanent. They will leave me, have their own life or pass away. God is permanent.
My friends are solid and real and intimate friendships, but they could not weather this storm for me. They could not hold my hand from across the country as I cried and worried and fretted. The ones that I did have close really didn’t know the stress and heartbreak I was feeling. But God always knows. He is always near and always here.
My work is something dependable, steady, with benefits and highly employable. My work caused me more stress and heart ache over these two floods. Tears, frustration, heart break and eventually a highly less than suitable working environment. My work was not dependable, it failed me. God is dependable.
My home. My sanctuary, my safe place, my refuge and comfort. Gone. It was a shell with nothing but studs and construction dirt. And every step I took forward I had to retrace to take 10 steps back. And trust me taking steps back and forward is VERY, VERY expensive. My home was not my refuge or safe place. I was left feeling bereft and unsettled. God is stable, safe, a refuge and a comfort.
My finances were utterly depleted. Years and years of saving and living an extremely frugal lifestyle to build up a savings for emergencies was all wiped out with this ONE emergency. 17 years of penny pinching, and all of it was put into restoring my home. God is never depleted; his mercies are new every morning.
My relationship failed me and betrayed me. I thought I had found the love of my life, one that would last until the end with truth, fidelity and partnership. And during my personal trial with Harvey, I found that he was only human. Made sinful and selfish like the rest of us. But our God is not. God will never fail or betray.
He is Faithful
All my safety nets were stripped away. Everything I put comfort and trust in to keep me safe was peeled back until I could clearly see how empty and hollow they were. Out of all of these pain and problems I learned more than ever that God is faithful.
He held my heart, my sanity and my hand through every step. He drew me closer to Him. It was not an easy lesson, but a beautiful one. God is God, and that is where we can put our trust, find our hope and find our comfort.
Epilogue: Almost a year after I stopped being “ME”, I am back to it. I have started exercising, am enjoying healthy eating and am committed to writing again. I moved into my newly remodeled home in April of 2018. My work is chugging along, in a less than perfect environment, but still a productive one. My relationship has been restored and is moving forward by God’s grace. My family and friends are a constant blessing, albeit from from different parts of the country and world.