What about Online Dating?
The first time I went on an online dating search engine, one of two thoughts came to my mind:
1. I can see why you’re on here. (You can’t get a real-life date)
2. You’re too damn good-lookin’ to be on here. (Why can’t you get a real-life date?)
It’s a lose-lose scenario. Not attractive, but I’m sure he has nothing to hide (but his face)… or too attractive, but I’m sure he has something to hide (except his face).
Online dating, aka last resort?
I don’t know why this method of mating has no appeal to me. I’m almost ashamed to even admit I used the search engine. Why? Maybe because it’s not the best story to tell your grandkids. Instead of, “Yeah, he was my paramedic and he saved my life and we locked eyes and I was his damsel in distress and I knew we made a connection and…,” it’s “We met online.” End of story. Borrrring.
Besides the boring factor, online dating just seems so unnatural. Forced. Where did I get the idea that love just happens in a non-intentional, unobtrusive way? Put your hand on the wheel and it becomes more like a job application. I hate job applications.
I have a cousin who met her husband online. It happens. People find love online. So maybe this isn’t so much dating advice as it is a dating dilemma. How do I get over this phobia of internet hookups?
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July 2nd, 2007 at 6:20 pm
Speaking from experience (not mine, but close enough), one of the main attractions of online dating is how you can be anyone you want. You can project just those traits that you think the other person wants, or even make up a completely new identity. Not that everyone you meet online is a fake. I think there are many honest people who date online and don’t even realize they are not being truly *themselves*.
And even if you are honest about your faults with the person you are dating online, those faults don’t pack nearly the punch as they would with a *real, live* boyfriend or girlfriend. I know a man who continued dating a girl online for several months after she had told several things about herself that he wouldn’t have been able to stand in real life! Only he was able to conveniently ignore those traits, because he didn’t actually have to live with them, see?
October 31st, 2008 at 9:57 pm
I’ve had a few friends, and even my mother get married to people they met online. I don’t see “online” dating as necessarily being anything unique unto itself, but rather just another method of getting to know someone. Relationships are built by developing a close bond and friendship, regardless of medium. We shop online, we learn online, we email, we chat. Those things are common, every-day activities, not an entirely different world.
I enjoy good conversation, a witty email exchange, or someone simply to connect with. Why should we limit our interactions to people who happen to be in our zip code? To me, it’s just a natural extension of what we already do. Convergence of the online with offline.
November 1st, 2008 at 6:53 am
Thanks for that insight Nathan. I wrote this back in 2007 and my opinion about online dating has definitely changed. Although I have yet to meet someone in person, I have definitely chatted and talked to some of the most interesting men I know!… And… they’re CUTE to boot! I had to just see it as another form of meeting people, not unlike any other way… the stigma is definitely dissolving:)
Now maybe now I won’t be so hesitant to bring it from online to offline like you mentioned:)