Photo by Peter W via stock.xchng
This is a touchy subject for women. It deals with beauty, appearance, weight. Women want unconditional love. A man can provide that, sure. But what women really want is unconditional desire. Unfortunately, men are visual creatures and part of the key to their desiring women is they have to like what they see.
So while their love can be unconditional, their desire is conditional. They may love you if you don’t look like the person they married, but it will be harder for them to desire you in that same way if you change the way you look. I mean, let’s not ignore this fact:
Part of the reason why they fell for you was for the way you looked.
Now don’t get me wrong. They fell for you for reasons that go beyond external, but we cannot ignore the fact that the external played a role.
I read something somewhere awhile ago (how vague, I know) that said that those that need to be concerned are the partners who change their weight and are either more than twenty pounds over or more than twenty pounds under the weight that they were when the relationship started.
I mean, let’s not kid ourselves. When our weight fluctuates 20lbs over or under we look like a different person!
Here’s what one of the moms on The Real Housewives of New Jersey says:
“Even if you are a busy mom, you don’t want to look like a mom. You want to always look like their girlfriend, otherwise, they’ll wish they had a new girlfriend.”
Ouch. I know. I’m not trying to be mean. It’s a reminder to me too since I’ve gained 10 lbs since I moved to Seattle in May and started dating Nate. Gosh. That darn comfortable stage! I’m now committed to walking 10,000 steps per day(yay pedometer from REI) and getting back to eating only when I’m hungry and stopping before I get stuffed. (and maybe not eating any more purple cake???!! j/k all things in moderation!)
So, women, I’m there too. I understand.
Let’s not fight the reality that men are visual creatures.