Dating Advice

Top Two Traits to Look for In a Partner: Honest and Grateful

“There is no greater difference between men than between grateful and ungrateful people.”

-R. H. Blyth

I’ve already written about the trait of honesty, so this post is going to focus on the trait of gratitude.

Why do I think this trait is so important? Because you don’t want to be stuck with someone who isn’t grateful. It permeates their entire attitude. They will either constantly be verbally complaining or they will be silently discontent and unhappy. When you hang out with people who are grateful, you are happier. When you hang out with people who are not grateful, you will find yourself being brought down too. Why would you ever want to be intimate with someone like that?

Thankful people are not resentful and negative people. Thankful people radiate happiness, want to give, and draw people (from quote of Sir John Templeton). Aren’t those qualities important in a partner? I would say so.

I am going to make a generalization and say that I believe all people can fall into one of two categories, people who are consistently grateful and people who are consistently ungrateful. (They are also typically consistently complainers and blamers.)

What if you’re reading this and you are thinking, I am a very ungrateful person. I realize it. Now what?

The great thing is that today, you can join the other group. For some people, gratitude comes naturally. For others, it can be a skill that you attain through consistent practice and and deliberate action.

This skill begins in the mind:

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”

~G.K. Chesterton

And like any other skill, gratitude takes practice. It is an exercise of your thoughts:

“There is not a more pleasing exercise of the mind than gratitude. It is accompanied with such an inward satisfaction that the duty is sufficiently rewarded by the performance.”

-Joseph Addison

You can’t wait for the “feeling” of gratitude to practice it. Counting your blessings creates that feeling. It’s the same thing with physical exercise. You just can’t wait to feel good to exercise because exercise is what creates that good feeling:

“Gratitude is like a muscle that needs to be used often. Even if a ‘feeling’ of gratitude isn’t there, practice helps. Practice brings about the sentiment.”

-Marcia Z. Nelson

And in this process of acquiring the skill of gratitude, something else amazing happens. The more grateful you become, the less fearful you become. Many times these two things are indirectly proportional.

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”

– Anthony Robbins

Guess what happens when you are less fearful? You are more able to love. And you are more confident.

For all these reasons, having a grateful attitude makes you more attractive.

“Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.”

-Aesop Fables

And even without the obvious external benefits of gratitude, you will have more peace in your life:

“There is a calmness to a life lived in Gratitude, a quiet joy.”

– Ralph H. Blum

And maybe you think you’re not a grateful person because you don’t have much, but the truth is…


“If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.”

-Frank A. Clark

Download the Thankfulfor app on your smart phone today and start counting your blessings:)

It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant those blessings are. What matters it that you recognize you’re blessed and that no matter how bad things are, there will always be something to be grateful for.

This is what I’m grateful for this minute:

My sleepy town…

My favorite Seattle pizza (Margherita pizza from Serious Pie)…

All things fuchsia:

(my fuchsia skinny jeans)

(Fuchsia lipstick I wore in my first dance concert)

Getting to watch hubby play with Aka, our nephew:

Friends who I can be silly with:

That healthy can actually taste aaaamazing:

Pictures you can take with Instagram:

(Rattlesnake Lake)

The miracle that all meat tastes better grilled:

And of course, this man who has stolen my heart:)

Have a happy Fourth of July everyone!

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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