Dating Advice

The Trainer Girlfriend

I have this crazy theory that might offend most men, but here goes: I think every decent man went through training by a woman in his life. If you’re dating a man right now, I’m hoping for your sake, that he has completed his training because his mother, grandmother, or sister(s) knew that that responsibility lay on their shoulders. Unfortunately, not all men are close to their mothers, not all men have sisters, not all men live in close proximity to their grandmothers. Those that are close to their mothers may be ‘mamma’s boys’ who will never cut umbilical ties. Those that do have sisters may not get along with their sisters, and those who live in close proximity to their grandmothers may have a relationship with their grandmothers that primarily involves feasting on her baked goods and being spoiled rotten. Not the kind of ‘ideal training’ that I’m talking about.

I’m sure you’ve run across an ‘untrained’ man in your dating experience. The kind of man who doesn’t understand why blenders a good birthday gift do not make. The kind of man who let’s you pay for dinner. The kind of man who just doesn’t understand that when a woman says ‘nothing’s wrong,’ it reallly means, ‘ everything’s wrong. please hold me and don’t say, ‘okay’ and leave.’

If you are with one of these men, don’t sprint. It’s not the end of the world. When a man is released into the world of dating without being trained by his kin, it’s sometimes up to the girlfriend to do the training. I’ve had my experience being the ‘trainer girlfriend.’ Just realize that this man is volatile. Just hope that when he’s all trained he doesn’t up and leave and some other woman gets to harvest the fruit of all your labor. ‘Cause those good pickin’s are few and in high demand.

I’m proud to say that I have also have done my civil duty to society and have trained one very capable, woman knowledgeable gentleman in my day, my brother. He can cook, ‘gourmet’ and ‘from scratch’ mind you. He can clean. He has a bright future in the pharmacy world. He’s already investing at the young age of 19. He knows how to dress. He is well read and he can sing and play the piano. But above all these things, he’s the best listener in the world, he’s patient and laid-back, he’s a peacemaker and he understands women well. I can’t take all the credit to the success of this prize-winning breed of a man, but I do take part of the credit for the fact that he knows he is so loved by me and his mom, that he hasn’t felt the need to go out and conquer a bunch of needy, starved-for-love highschoolers. He knows he is loved and so he doesn’t have to prove himself to his peers and to girls and in turn he has been able to focus on his goals and dreams.

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  1. hunter

    Just recently a heard a therapist, at a singles seminar, talk about “trainers.” She advised both women and men, to socialize/see each other/date. She emphasized, “trainers”.(someone you are not attracted to) So that when the right person comes around, you will know what to do and say.

  2. Rebecca Gilbert

    I just wanted to drop you a comment to say keep up the good work

  3. hunter

    Ahhh, only two comments on the trainer girlfriend?….

  4. Guy without the drive to live

    I’m practically an orphan, considering how my mother “prepared” me for the world, for emotion, for dealing with people. This is so depressing. I think I’ll kill myself now. The world will be a better place without my suffering.

  5. MidoriLei

    Guy without the drive to live…

    Your past doesn’t have to determine your future.


    This is kinda true.. i had training from many girls before i finally “woke up” and realised all the “mistakes” i was making..

  7. hunter

    Some women in their 20’s don’t mind being the trainer girlfriend,(especially if he is good looking) but, once they turn 40 they no longer want to do that.(unless he is young and good looking).

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