For Girls in a Relationship

The Other Woman

I met my ex-hairdresser a while back at the local beauty college. I got a good deal at the beauty college, but she piqued my interest when she invited me to get services at a discount at her house. The only thing was that she would be doing her services illegally since she was not licensed to practice yet. I went along with it. She had great prices and even a great referral program. If I referred three people, I would get a free service! Then things started to go bad.

Eventually she increased her rates to the point that her rates were more than the college! And even worse yet, she didn’t tell me her rates increased by $20 until I was already sitting in her seat. On top of that she lied to me and told me the long hair charge at the school was $20 when it was actually only $10. The last string was her “expired” referral program. I referred two people to her within the past 8 months and had my last one lined up, but when I mentioned it to her, she suddenly informed me that she was no longer doing that referral program! I thought that was totally unfair, for one, because she never told me that there was any kind of expiration, and for two, even if she had, I wish she had the work ethic and the courtesy to allow me to refer my last client since I had already referred two.

This got me thinking about fairness. And I wanted to hit myself over the head out of stupidity.

How can I expect someone who is doing services illegally to treat me fairly?

I was enabling her to work illegally, yet I was expecting her to treat me fairly?

This experience made me think about men and women who date married people.

Hypothetical Scenario

Lets say Jan dates Chad, a married man. Chad cheats on his wife and then ends up divorcing his wife. Then Jan and Chad start dating exclusively.

Now being in Jan’s position, I don’t think I could ever trust Chad to be faithful because if he wasn’t trustworthy or loyal to his wife who he made a lifetime promise to, why should Jan be any different?

There are people who are trustworthy, faithful and loyal, and then there are people who are not. Chad has proven he is of the latter group of people.

So why would anybody want to be “the other woman/man?”

Like my experience with my hairdresser, (expecting someone doing something illegally to treat me fairly)…

you can’t expect someone who demonstrates unfaithfulness to show faithfulness just because you came into the picture.

My Experience

Before Nate and I started dating, Nate found out that I was on myspace. At the time, he was still with his long term girlfriend. Even though things were not really working out between them, he refused to even “friend” me on myspace just because he was in a relationship.

You know, at the time, if he would have befriended me on myspace while he was in a relationship, in the back of my mind, I wouldn’t have felt right about it, just because we were never just “friends.” We have only associated with each other romantically so even if I probably would have accepted his friend request (if he had sent it) I would have honestly lost a little respect for him….

Why You Should Make a Clean Break from Your Relationship BEFORE Starting Another

And just because he didn’t even friend me while he was in a relationship…

1. I have SOOOOO Much respect for him.

2. AND, now that we’re married, I have so much TRUST in him because he made a clean break before he ever connected with me in any way.

My point? If you want to be with someone faithful, loyal and trustworthy, you’re never going to find that in a person who’s cheating to be with you.

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

Join the discussion

  1. allan

    So true about no trustworthiness in a homewrecker-born relationship

    I’m telling you, find a gay hair stylist! Do what I did. I yelped the best salons in the gayborhood and tallied up the good reviews by each male stylist mentioned by name. It’s hard to cheat the yelp system. Their posting algorithm decreases the number of false reviews. My reviews aren’t even posted yet since I’m not an established member!

    BTW, you’re missing a picture in this post!

  2. Fahad

    It’s absolutely correct that before making a new relation, it is important to clear the old relationship. If not later it will cause misunderstanding and many problems in life.

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