The Opposite of Love

Thank you for this video, Myrik!

(It’s not related to relationships with a significant other, but indifference in general)

I’m beginning to really believe what someone told me a long time ago:

The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference.

I’m visiting some family out of state right now.

Everywhere I go, I look for signs of life.

And to me, love is the sign of life.

It brings color to my world.

Needless to say, it’s pretty gray around me right now.

It’s kinda disheartening.

My aunts and uncles have lost something.

They no longer love each other.

You can see it in their interactions (or lack of interactions) with each other.

They don’t hate each other either.

They just don’t care anymore.

They’re indifferent.

The opposite of love isn’t hate, because hate takes too much care.

Hate is impassioned.

Indifference is negligence.

At least hate takes some thought and effort.

Indifference doesn’t give a damn.

And here’s what I’m reminded about long-term love by an article written about one of my favorite authors, Laurie Colwin:

The marriages they make are the keys to their happiness, but marriage can be dull and quotidian, as Misty discovers not long after the vows are spoken. Even when she’s happy, she has to work at it.

Oh yes, ’tis true:

Love is work. Not leisure.

Once love is neglected…

once other things take higher priority…

once life and busyness take over…

once you stop caring about their happiness…

love doesn’t turn to hate.

It’s the more subtle and chronic disease:


Like the video above shows, we need each other.

We need each other to care.

For the stranger on the street.

For the stranger in your house who you call your husband. Your wife.

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  3. Scratch

    Brilliant as always

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