Honesty/Integrity

Why?

Because so many things stem from a lack of this.

• Cheating
• Lying
• Giving insincere flattery
• Brushing things under the rug
• Communication problems because you’d rather not stir up conflict
• Jealousy because of lack of trust
• Possessiveness because of lack of trust
• Promises meaning nothing
• Atmosphere of doubt and insecurity

One of my best friends married a liar.

He lied about something so small when they were dating: he said he returned a dvd and later she found it in the back of her car.

Fast forward 4 years, post-divorce.

She finds out this man:

• bought a motorcycle using her credit (He said he won it)
• hid all the bills with porn in her garage
• got her $30,000 in debt, leaving her unable to apply for more credit
• messed up her credit so she’s unable to sell her house for a couple of years

Adult klepto?

Possibly.

Male Gold digger?

Possibly.

And if things couldn’t get worse, she also finds him on myspace with another woman and a child on the way.

Object lesson?

If you can’t trust someone to be honest about small things, you can’t trust them with big things.

You can’t build a life with someone you can’t trust.

Period.

If you don’t have trust, you don’t have anything.

And while we’re on this topic, I’m going to mention why this subject came to mind.

A friend of mine is recently talking to her ex boyfriend online.

She has a boyfriend.

The ex wants to see a recent picture of her.

Harmless right?

But before she sent the picture, she asked me, “Should I do it?”

I responded with, “Do you feel guilty?”

She said, “Yes.”

I said, “Why?”

She said, “Because he’s my ex and because I have a boyfriend.”

“But you’re not interested in your ex right?”

“No,” she said confidently.

Now here’s what you have to ask yourself in any situation where you are deciding between right and wrong regarding relationships.

I told her, “Could you tell your boyfriend you’re doing this?”

She said, “No.”

I said, “There’s your answer. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable telling your boyfriend about what you’re going to do, you shouldn’t do it.”

She was like, “Thank you. That’s pretty simple. Thank you! I feel better.”

This relates to integrity and honesty.

Even something as innocent as sending a picture to a platonic ex could lead to potential problems, not because of what you’re doing, but because you’re breaking a line of openness and communication with your partner .
And nothing is worth breaking that.

So be watchful.

Strive for honesty and integrity in yourself.

Then you can expect the same from the people you date!