For Single Girls

The Difference Between Creepy/Stalkerish and Attractively Persistent

Day 7/365 Creepy Guy

So you know I’m always promoting that men step up to the plate and make the first move when it comes to pursuing a woman.

I don’t want to leave you hanging because as you know, it doesn’t end there. There’s this fine line between your pursuit making you look attractive, courageous, confidently self-assured that you believe you have what it takes to make her happy….

and… creepy… stalkerish…

How do you differentiate between the two? Here are some ways:

Attractive Pursuer

Smiles a lot, looks you in the eye

Creepy Pursuer

Doesn’t look you in the eye a lot, doesn’t smile. Possibly has a blank stare.

Attractive Pursuer

Knows the pursuit is like a dance. The guy makes the move, anticipates her response.
You lead, she follows. If she doesn’t follow, your interactions with her include innocent flirting with no pressure for her to reciprocate.

Creepy Pursuer

Thinks the pursuit is just one sided. Doesn’t adjust based on the woman’s response.

Why it’s Important Not to Come Across as Creepy:

I think any guy regardless of appearance, income, personality, and IQ can win over the heart of a woman. All he needs is patience, persistence, and unyielding, unwavering single-minded devotion to ONE woman… Simple right? One caveat.

He has to offer all this without coming on as creepy.

Examples from My Girl Friends

I asked many of my female friends this question in a mass text message. LOL don’t you love those? (I’m being sarcastic)

First, being awkward or nervous is NOT creepy. Let’s just make that crystal clear.

Examine the difference between the examples they gave:

Inviting a girl to do things: persistent.

Pressuring her to do things: creepy.

Making your presence known: persistent.

Materializing out of nowhere and avoiding making conversation: creepy.

Calling when it’s your turn: persistent.

Too many voice mails. Too many phone calls (when she hasn’t responded): creepy.

Calling in the evening to wish her good night: persistent.

Calling late at night and not saying anything: creepy.

Writing her hand written letters: persistent.

Writing her letters in your blood: creepy.

OMG. I know. Did you cringe at that last one too??!! All of the above are actually stuff that guys have done to my friends!

Readers, do you have any more examples?

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  1. hunter

    ….how interesting…

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