Dating Advice

The Date Doesn’t Define the Experience

How many of you have ever had the perfect first date?

Mine was out of a movie. It was an adventure, with celebrities, historic monuments, quaint towns, lush gardens, private tours and a road trip.

The only problem was, it was with the wrong guy.  

We were introduced through a mutual friend, but lived 2.5 hours apart, so we decided to meet for a meal half-way between both of us.  

The town we met in was quaint and adorable. There was a one room German chapel from the 1800s, a few shops and a delicious meal.  

During the meal an ex-governor of the great state of Texas came to our table, shook my hand and said hello.  My date had worked with him during his terms as governor. This was officially my first ‘celebrity’ meeting.

On the drive up, my date passed a historical chapel that was just down the road, so we took off to explore.  It was in the middle of a field and was open to the public.  Entering the chapel was like walking back in time. Everything was wood, the pews were sturdy, but not made for comfort. And it was one room. The signs said it was still in use every Sunday, and there was not a speck of dust to be seen.

On the return drive we passed an expanse of lush gardens and took an immediate detour to explore.  It was a music conservatory.  After driving around and finding the main building, he googled, made a phone call and about 10 minutes later a docent appeared to give us a private tour of the theater and stage.  We then walked around and toured the grounds, getting lost in the beauty.

This entire time I was trying to be into him. I was trying to dig him. We had similar backgrounds. My friend set us up.  This date was absolutely perfect.  WHY couldn’t I just be more into him!?

But something was missing.  He didn’t have that “X” factor that I talked about in this article. He was kind, perfect on paper, but a bit too bossy for my taste, and I guess that killed it for me.

It was a date that I will never forget. Perfect in every moment, every aspect of the activity.  It was just with the wrong guy. 

Why do I tell this story.  Because out of it comes a golden piece of advice.

Do NOT go into dating life expecting chemistry…or even a connection.

  • Go into it expecting to meet someone new, appreciate them for their life experience and background.
  • Go into the date to enjoy the activity and the time. Do not put pressure on yourself to be into someone…even if it is the perfect date,  you have chatted online, your friend set you up, ESPECIALLY  because they are attractive!
  • Pay attention to the way you feel while you are with them.  Make sure you feel like you can be yourself.  Then decide if there is a second date to follow.
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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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