The Curse of the “Type”

Oh Gosh. I wish I didn’t have a “type.” You know, I really blame it on my sixth grade crush, Nicholas Dragoo. Caucasian brunette boy with kind eyes. If you ever read this Nicholas, I just want to say, you screwed me over for life! Nah, I’m just kidding. Don’t worry, I also blame it on the media.

The media perpetuates my “type.” One day this thought came to my mind. I looked at the majority of romantic comedies, superhero movies or tv shows out there and discovered that the leading men who are attached to a love interest were usually Caucasian brunettes! To make my point, I’ve made a list of many popular movies and tv shows that have a leading man who just happens to be a Caucasian brunette.

TV Shows (also the ones I grew up watching)
My So Called Life: Jordan Catalano
Heros:Peter Petrelli
Gilmore Girls: Jess Mariano
American Dreams: Scout Calhoun and Hamilton Fleming
Roswell: Michael Guerin
Highschool Musical: Troy Bolton
Dawson’s Creek: Pacey Witter(he gets the girl)
Gossip Girl: Nate Archebald
Laguna Beach: Stephen Colletti
Private Practice: Pete Wilder
Quarterlife: Jed
Desperate Housewives: Tom Scavo, Mike Delfino
Veronica Mars:Stosh ‘Piz’ Piznarski
Men in Trees: Jack Slaterry
Beverly Hills 90210 (90’s): Brandon Walsh, David Silver, Dylan McKay
Beverly Hills 90210 (2008): Ethan Ward
What I like About You: Vince
Party of Five: Bailey Salinger, Charlie Salinger, Griffin Holbrook
Home Improvement: Randy Taylor
Friends: Chandler Bing and Joey Tribiani
Boy Meets World: Shawn Hunter
The Bachelor: Have you noticed almost all of the Bachelors chosen are Caucasian men with light brown hair????
7th Heaven: Matt Camden
What about Brian: Brian Davis, Adam Hillman
Two guys a girl and a pizza place: Berg, JOhnny Donnelly
Samantha who: Todd
Las Vegas: Danny Mccoy
October Road: Eddie Latteka, Nick Garrett

(also the ones I grew up watching)
Fantastic Four
She’s All That
Boys and Girls
Summer Catch
Head over Heals
Down to You
Ten Things I Hate About You
What a Girl Wants
Nanny Diaries
She’s the Man
Catch and Release
Because I Said So
Just Friends
Good Will Hunting
Catch Me if You Can
Coyote Ugly
Thirteen Going on Thirty
Ella Enchanted
Bride and Prejudice
Perfect Opposites
Becoming Jane
The Man in the Moon
The Beach
Mighty Ducks
Win a Date with Todd Hamilton
The Notebook
A Walk to Remember
Whatever it Takes
Tristan and Isolde
Notting Hill
Music and Lyrics
Bridget Jones
Pride and Prejudice
Love Actually
Two Weeks Notice
Sense and Sensibility
Romeo and Juliet
The Object of My Affection
Just My Luck
How to Deal
Mean Girls
Jane Austen Book Club
Life as a House
Star Wars
Sydney White

These lists are not exhaustive. Here are just some of your leading men ladies. It’s a conspiracy I tell you!LOL


I don’t know why the western world has an obsession with Caucasian men with brown hair. Don’t think my theory holds up? I’m telling you, if you have this “type” it’s because you’ve been conditioned by the media. You weren’t born with this “type.” Well, one more case in point. Take a look at Jesus Christ. Yup. Always portrayed as a Caucasian man with brown hair and kind eyes. In reality, from what we know of Jesus Christ historically and the region he came from, he probably looked more like Osama Bin Laden than the long haired brunette Tarzan in a robe that we make him out to be in the western world.

This Guy, Jim Caviezel, named in 2004 by People Magazine as one of the most beautiful people in the world, played Jesus Christ in The Passion of the Christ. He couldn’t have looked like this guy. (Isaiah 53:2… He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.)


Now back to Nicholas Dragoo, my first “real boy in the flesh” crush ever. (Because I don’t count my whole Jonathan Brandis Bop and Big Bopper pinup stage. How embarrassing. Jonathan B. RIP)

Anyway, I was in sixth grade and he “went out” with my best friend, Erica Blackburn. (I had a crush on my best friend’s guy! Don’t worry, I didn’t bust out with any moves) Basically I just admired their “relationship” from a distance. He wasn’t just cute. He was super sweet to Erica. Who knew 6th graders could be so sweet? It was the perfect case of puppy love, and I had to watch it on the sidelines:

I remember during recess one time, he colored a dinosaur for her from a coloring book, cut it out in the shape of a heart and gave it to her. He wanted to give her a ring too, so they could pretend like they were married, but because he didn’t have a ring (being a poor, jobless 6th grader and all) he got out one of his lifesaver candies, and get this, he sucked on it until the hole was big enough to fit her little ring finger. Then he put it on her finger really carefully because it was so tiny and fragile by the time he was done with it. Sticky. Yes. Gross. For sure. But, OH. SO. frickin’. sweet. (not to mention creative)

I think that’s when I realized “real boys in the flesh” didn’t have cooties. And that marked the beginning of my “type.” Caucasian Boys with brown hair and kind eyes. Kind eyes, you know, the kind of eyes that don’t look mean, don’t look like they get angry easily. Guys with kind eyes, smile, with their eyes.

My point isn’t to say you shouldn’t like Caucasian men with brown hair, my point is that we should understand that when we have a “type” it’s because we’ve been conditioned by experience. There’s nothing natural or genetic that makes you drawn to your “type.” Your personal experiences have influenced your type. It has nothing to do with who we have the potential to be attracted to. I bet if black men, Hispanic men, Native American men, Asian men, Indian men, or Red Headed/Blond Caucasian men dominated the cinema, my type might be different.

Having a “type” limits you. The good news is that your “type” is a product of being conditioned, and that means you can recondition yourself to look beyond the kind of men you typically date. A “type” might not just be about your preferences in race, or physical attributes, it can also be your preference for a specific kind of man–Maybe you typically only go for business types, or athletic types, or nerdy types of men. Maybe you have a preference for outgoing men, shy men, doctors, musicians, bad boys, or funny guys. My point is, you can be attracted to all sorts of men and shouldn’t limit yourself to just noticing your “type.”

Not suprisingly, the guy who I fell hard for, the only guy who I can honestly say I loved, even in hindsight, wasn’t my “type” at all! He had black hair and was a Filipino Scottish Canadian.

Regardless of your “type,” you should give every guy a chance. Don’t dismiss him at first glace or first conversation. Of course I’m more of a fan of mutual instant attraction (AKA love at first sight) but it’s nice to know that attraction can grow even if there isn’t something initially.

What are you thoughts?

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

Join the discussion

  1. Jeffrey Oden

    Isn’t our “type” someone who truly strengthens our weaknesses? someone that will give confidence to the one that has none, someone that will turn a introvert into an extrovert or an indecisive person into a decisive one. I think if you find someone who brings emotions and attributes out of you that you thought you never had and helps you find strength in parts of your life that you always had the most weakness, well then that just may be the right person for you. Oh by the way, did I mention that I,m a brown haired red blooded Caucasian man who,s somewhat shy, kinda nerdy and loves to cook? just thought I would let you know : )

  2. MidoriLei

    I agree Jeff! compatibility has a lot to do with the balancing out of strengths and weaknesses for sure. Great point!

  3. Eric

    Why do women have types?? To me, this seems like some bizarre form of classification. Personally, Im willing to date short, tall, blonde, brunettes and readheads. I really dont care as long as they possess the deeper qualities Im looking for.

    I really cant understand why women have such a narrow field of vision when initially seeking men. What gives?

    Also my xgf (who was a tall brunette) insisted that I loved short blondes…only because my previous crush had been that type. You people are insane.

  4. MidoriLei

    I have to say Eric that it’s not a gender-specific (all women) issue. I have guy friends who have types as well. One of them only dates blonds, one of them prefers latina women and black women. I guess it just depends on the individual. Some women and some men have types, others don’t.

    The thing is, we can’t really choose who we’re attracted to, and if most of the people we are attracted to physically fall under a certain type, it’s really beyond our control. I’m just advising for people to be open to dating outside of their type, because attraction can grow for someone when it isn’t initially there.

  5. Nathan

    “You people are insane.”

    I’m most amused for a comment like that to be the conclusion of a rant regarding gross generalizations. 🙂

  6. nicholas dragoo

    who wrote this? i remember. to show truth, it was at millers point elm. Please responde

  7. Pingback: Perfection Will Not Come «

  8. jenn

    Some women are programed to like certin types of guys. My sister likes easy going, and nice guys. Shes sensitive so she likes sensitive guys. I like nice guys but I have more of a wilde streak so a guy that is too goody good, or shy and sensitive might now hold my attention. Its just about compatibility. I get some intelectual guys or shy guys liking me becuase someitmes they like excitment. But if im not excited by them it will never work out.

  9. CarlysDatingChronicles

    It sucks to have a type! I like tall, dark, and handsome men. If your blond and hot, I’m not attracted to you. I don’t know what it is but I only like guys with dark coloring. On my blog you can read what kind of guys I date! I date a bunch 🙂

  10. Logan Robinson

    Samantha Who and Big Bang Theory are two of my favorite TV programs to watch.””,

  11. Abigail Moore

    the cast of Gilmore Girls are very pretty, i wish i could marry one of them.“,

  12. Evelyn Reed

    we like to watch Samantha Who because the characters in that tv program are really funny and cute..-,

  13. Anonymous

    May someone explain what the author meant in his final paragraph? He makes a great start but lost me halfway with the article. I had difficulty following what the author is looking to say. The beginning was great but I feel he needs to use writing a better conclude.


    Actually, what’s wrong with having a type? Isn’t having a “type” something like having certain characteristics and attributes that we look for in a person? Though we limit ourselves, we can also look at it as “shortlisting” the available choices..

  15. Nessa N

    I have the same type. BUT Caucasian brunette is tooooo broad of a category. Most Caucasian guys have brown hair because blonde/black is rare for the race

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