For Girls in a Relationship

The “Closeness” Police


I’m aware that couples go from lovers to strangers all too often. Maybe that’s why I’m hyper sensitive when Nate and I get even a little bit “off.” It happens all too easily getting sucked into the daily grind, and all too easy to start thinking about myself instead of putting him and us first. The other night I ate the last piece of pineapple and didn’t even think to ask him if he wanted some. Seemingly insignificant a gesture, yet it revealed a lot. Back when we were just dating, this would never have happened. Couples are always so courteous and thoughtful. “Oh, you can have the last piece!”

And I think about how things change over time, how people get back to watching out for number one. I believe the unraveling of the unity couples have, the process that turns couples into strangers creeps up ever so innocently. And that’s why I’ve become the “closeness” police. I’m the girl for the gig, the girl who’s going to curl up under his arm, kiss him all over his face during the commercial break while he’s watching Duck Dynasty and tell him, “I don’t feel very close to you.” With a pout and ducky lips, that in the Heckman home indicate a reciprocal kiss is needed, I’ll make my advances.

Given this situation, a wise man would turn around and ask the “closeness” police, “Baby, do you want to go to bed and cuddle and talk?” And hubby is said wise man. So that’s when Duck Dynasty gets left on DVR and we’re off to give our baby (our relationship) a little tlc. So, I highly recommend, if you are in a relationship, that if there isn’t a known “closeness” police amongst the two of you, to assign yourself the role. If you want to prevent the inevitable marital catastrophe that is someday waking up and realizing you’re living with a stranger, someone’s gotta do it.

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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