Christian Advice

The Best Christian Dating Book

I’ve read many of them. Some of them I would NEVER recommend through experience. (like Kissed Dating Goodbye) Others are nice and flowery but not very practical. (Her Hand in Marriage, Quest for Love, Passion and Purity, When God Writes Your Love Story)

But this one is so practical. It’s not just a bunch of theories and cute stories.

Even if you’re not a Christian, I would recommend this book. The principles behind it apply to everyone. I got mine from the library.

How to Get a Date Worth Keeping
by Dr. Henry Cloud

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  1. Nathan

    Pretty much any of his books are excellent. I would also strongly recommend “Boundaries in Dating” by Cloud and Townsend. Along with Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” it’s one of the best I’ve seen. I wish more young people interested in pursuing relationships would read those books. It would be an excellent opportunity to share your underlined and annotated copy with a significant other.

    The problem I see with books like “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” is they tend to operate on a straw-man argument. All Harris does is define the term ‘dating’ with a very narrow scope, attack the principle, and then presents the broader broader concept of dating by assigning it a new (or rather, old) label.

  2. MidoriLei

    what do you mean by “straw man?”

    The Kissed Dating Goodbye series was more for men, and It left me wondering what my role was. Just wait around? Hope the Fed Ex guy was a Christian? And then I had a guy friend try to “court” me (he too read the book) but it just seemed like we would be skipping a whole step in the process. From friends to already contemplating marriage just seems like a really big, scary jump. So I froze in my tracks. I couldn’t move forward. It just seemed so unnatural. It just seemed like the guy was making me choose– I want to be your friend or I want you to consider marrying me.

    Now I realize that finding a guy who wants to get married isn’t the issue. Most people do eventually want to marry. Courtship created a very pressure-filled environment and didn’t allow me to feel like a relationship could progress naturally. I don’t like getting to know men in a pressure-filled environment.

    Oh, I do have another friend who recommends Boundaries in Dating. I need to check that out. I do like The Five Love Languages. I’m glad to know some guys, like yourself, do read these kinds of books! You set a good example for others to follow!

  3. Nathan

    By “straw man” I mean the argument technique where the stance of the opponent is misrepresented and then that false, easier to refute, image is easily attacked.

    The bits of IKDG that I’m familiar with (I have to admit I never did read the whole thing) seemed like it was arguing against a caricature of ‘dating’ when in reality that term can entail a very wide variety of relationship types and mean different things to different people.

    To Harris’ credit, I would agree with a small part of his premise, which is something I try to tell my students quite often. If you can say that the person you are with is definitely not someone you would consider a future long-term partnership with, then why are you pursuing the relationship? Don’t let being bored or lonely cause you to put effort into what you already know to be a dead end. It’s not fair to either party.

  4. MidoriLei

    your students? Are you a teacher?

    yeah, I agree with that premise as well. But I also think that if sex isn’t in the picture and both parties agree to abstain until marriage, the relationship will end sooner or later if one of the parties knows there isn’t long-term potential. Basically if sex isn’t in the picture, that book is basically irrelevant. This is just a theory though:)

  5. Nathan

    Indeed I am. You might know of the place.

    In fact, just last week I was looking through some old video tapes and found interview footage of a really cute English teacher that used to work here… 😉

  6. MidoriLei

    OH, Nathan! lol i know who you are! so funny I’m just now realizing this. oh that silly interview.

  7. Pingback: Why Active Men on a Mission Are HOT | Dating Advice From A Girl

  8. YL

    Hi! I found your blog while doing a google blog search on this book (“how to get a date worth keeping”). I’ve not read this book yet. I’ve read quite a few other christian dating books such as “I kissed dating goodbye”, “when God writes your love story”, “boy meets girl” etc. Like you, I got the idea that my role (I’m a girl) is just to wait around and God will bring him into my life when I’m ready. As I’m 26 years old and have never been in a relationship, I really hope that I can play a more active role in this area of my life. I’ve also wondered whether the reason I’m still single is because I’m not spiritually matured enough. That’s the message I’ve been getting from such books. I’ve been reading reviews of this book and it sounds exactly like what I’m looking for. As a reviewer ( Nicodemus Chan ) on puts it -“God may provide the food for the bird but the bird must still go and look for the worms. God does his part, we must do ours”. Can’t wait to read this book!

    Oh btw, I’m so glad to have found your blog. I’ve read some of your articles and will definitely come back for more! Congrats on getting married!! 🙂

  9. MidoriLei

    Thank you YL! I read all the Christian dating books you mentioned and “how to get a date worth keeping” is by far the best of them! It is hard playing the “lady in waiting.” Just make sure you are “in circulation” as my mother calls it. So that the man who’s looking for a girl like you can find you!

  10. Rachel@christian cafe

    A crucial benefit to Christian dating is always that a large number of members comply with a similar life-style with solid beliefs

  11. Karly Schadle

    christian dating is always exciting and enjoyable, i would really love to day a christian girl -;-

  12. dating kiss

    Hi Datingadvicefromagirl,
    Interesting Post, If you have been engaged in any form of Christian dating, whether on the Internet or off the Internet, you will truly be interested in this article and the answers it provides to a very pertinent question being asked by most young people. I find lots of young Christians who are involved in online dating asking this exact question – should they have sex with their dates/partners or not? It’s a very important question that continues to get asked by almost every young Christian all over the world, whether they are engaged in online dating or not. If you have also asked similar question, this article will help as it looks closely at this age old debate and provides you with the answers you seek.
    Keep up the good work

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