Tell her your real feelings…
January 28th, 2011 by MidoriLei
awww, this is so sad… (brought to you via cup of jo)
Guys… don’t let her slip away just cuz you didn’t say what you really felt. Be bold! Be forward. It’s super hot.
Have a great weekend!
January 29th, 2011 at 9:48 am
Midori,
Men don’t operate off of their feelings,(making it difficult to express feelings, unless he is skilled at it) a man can “think” his way out of a relationship if, he wants to…….men are built different…
January 29th, 2011 at 3:20 pm
hunter, you’re right about that! That men are built different… but that doesn’t mean they are incapable of talking about their feelings/emotions. usually a good dose of infatuation will do a man in! I’m just encouraging men to not hold themselves back when the emotions do arise:)
January 29th, 2011 at 11:04 pm
Midori,
I agree with you, men can be trained(the trainer girlfriend, sometimes does that) to talk about their feelings/emotions. For relationship purposes, remember to ask your y-chromosomed partner, what he thinks. He can ask you, “how would you feel if???
January 30th, 2011 at 11:22 am
….all that aside, most of the time, the woman men are infatuated with, usually has herds of other men infatuated with her(men hit on the same woman other men do) so, then, we wind up competing with other men(some men don’t see this) for her.
January 31st, 2011 at 3:56 pm
Not to nit pick, there are a percentage of men who do talk about their feelings. For this i will give an arbitrarily value to this percentage of men. Lets say its its 5% cause I know for damn sure its the minimal amount. Lets brake it down further 1% is gay men. 2% is men who are stuck in a chaotic emotional state. 1% are men who pretend to have compassion that appears to aligned with what actually matters in life. The last 1%, I could be boxed into, for sake of discussion, this is a metaphysically centered person, one whos goal in life is correct perception.(not something that is easily explained. This person is as much of a minority as the others. These people aren’t just men. some are doing it because its becoming something of a fad, I did not include those people in that 1%. More personally, I tend to overwhelm people in general, when i get in one of those “moods” or when people ask for my advice. Mainly because I cut through the bullshit, while still understanding my emotions at a deep level. Growing up I wasnt interested in relationships. art and thinking have always been a passion. it wasnt till i was a jr in high school that, love mattered to me. Probably because my mother died in 97 and it took 5 years before I had enough of depression. I looked every direction for something to fill that. One being women…I failed time after time(which in hind site is a good thing) still today at 29 i have not had a woman that when she liked me, would want to call me their bf…..I understand why, wont get into it….im just saying I express myself when the times are right. in a “relationship” i become even more compassionate, probably to quick, Im ready to fix that but i have to get past the the fundamental attribution Error. which is another way of saying, people project there “self” on to other people to explain the other persons actions. This self includes what other people have “done” to you. people give things away without they’re knowledge. As a man i want to fix these things, this is a wrong perception too. humans need not be fixed….still the original error in the past( speaking of romantic relationships) is still around. call it shyness, or i cant get myself to “getting” anyone to do something without them doing it for there self/”self”, it doesn’t sit right with me…to me its manipulative….I dont know whats best for the other person. so when I try it, it will obviously come off as manipulative.
the majority of women I meet, dont know what they want. most Men arnt any different i understand.
to elaborate with a question, we all know what we want, but is it what we need?
I want, no need someone who can see me….im not perfect, i dont expect the woman to be either.
I dont want to sleep with someone for the sake of animal needs in of itself. One reason is the mental stress is not worth it, ive been there, done that. Its known what was going on and consenting. still I need to change my mind about it, maybe thats my only option, because honestly women wont come after me, and when I go after them, they dont trust me…….my anxiousness and desperation shines through, im aware, and maybe thats all it is…..all I could really use help to understand the dynamics of this and I dont know where to turn. I need someone who is detached enough to talk about topics/ideas/feelings, so that they can be truly honest and I wont be misled….sadly I dont know if it is even probable. Never the less you know that not all men are the same, and maybe its women who need to be more trusting of there-self’s to not be miss-led and not miss out on the ones that wont hurt them out of carelessness. start helping men, not feeding your own desires at the expense of your self and the ones that really do care. I dunno, im just talking.
January 31st, 2011 at 4:57 pm
That’s true hunter, about the woman who’s getting hit on by many men… but the winner is usually the guy who is most persistent in the pursuit! Most of the men go in for the kill and then give up. Players don’t stick around. It’s really the guy who will woo until she has basically been worn down by him making a fool of himself and keeping on when others have quit. This is REALLY attractive! Seriously. Unless she is a total bitch who has no heart at all. Then you don’t want her anyway!
Anyhow, more about abou the guy who sticks around. It shows confidence and humility. It shows confidence cuz the guy really believes he can win her even against the odds and that shows that he sees himself as valuable. It shows humility because after all is said and done the guy has probably made himself look like a fool for her in spite of himself. Women love this.
January 31st, 2011 at 5:08 pm
just talking,
Women don’t know what they want. They need the right man to let them see that he is the one that they(the woman) wants.
Women want to be desired and romanced. Forever. If you can show a woman that you can be that guy to provide that, she will be yours.
But just talking, you have to trust yourself and not overthink relationships. Maybe what you need is a little carnal animal instinct. A little heart over mind action. Find the girl you are crazy about and go after her. Prove to her you are the man she needs. You are the man who can desire her and romance her forever.
January 31st, 2011 at 5:12 pm
midorilei, that is very very interesting, thank you.
its going to take time for me to fully understand this concept of persistence with women despite the defense mechanisms. ive “won” people over before, but never thought about it in the way you put it.
persistence is a way around misinterpretations. thank you. i still dont know what to “do” but that adds a moral force to it.
February 1st, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Midori,
I remember asking a woman out for approximately 10 years, maybe 9 and some months, to no avail. Later on, I learned that, a mans qualifications must be within certain parameters for a woman(for some women) to accept the invitation.
February 2nd, 2011 at 8:54 pm
Midori,
Interesting statistics, from another singles advice column. There are almost 200,000 more single men(guys don’t have to feel so bad on dateless weekends) than single women on the west coast. Whereas, on the east coast, you will find almost 200,000 more single women than men.
February 3rd, 2011 at 12:56 pm
hunter, did you get that stat from creative class “who’s my city?” I posted about that here:
http://datingadvicefromagirl.com/where-are-all-the-single-people_213/
February 3rd, 2011 at 1:07 pm
hunter, tis true… some women cannot be won over by just the pursuit. tis true tis true. But in not continuing to pursue a woman, a man will never know. Plus, you can pursue multiple women if none budge. There’s no ill in that. If she declines the pursuit, she can’t keep you from pursuing other women as well at the same time.
February 4th, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Midori,
Is that where that ‘stat came from? I saw it on EMK.
February 4th, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Midori,
Most nice guys know little about pursuing a woman. That is why they are labeled “nice guys”.
February 4th, 2011 at 5:14 pm
hunter, so true! That’s why I’m working on an ebook called “Nice Guys Who Finish First” I want to help “nice guys” learn that the pursuit is part of the woman’s attraction to the man!
February 4th, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Don’t forget to mention, that there is a bigger pool of single women, available, if men stay with women of similar values, beliefs, hobbies, etc….most women don’t discriminate, they just won’t date out of their league.