When I was thirteen, I had my first boyfriend. When I met him, all I remember where those eyes. Tantalizing. From that moment on, my friends and I referred to him as Tantalizer. 16 years old, with eyes that could sear through your innocent thirteen year old soul and pull your heart out. He never had that awkward acne year. Just bronzed, perfect skin.
Tantalizer gave me my first kiss, my first heartbreak and my first taste of public humiliation. After two months of dating, he did the dirty deed and broke my heart, amplifying the pain by adding public humiliation. He did not do the decent, expected thing: a private heart to heart talk. He just walked up to me in the bleachers, his ENTIRE fraternity, a silent glaring shadow behind him.
“Im breaking up with you.” That’s all he said.
“Ok.” that’s all I said.
Sandwiched by the two girlfriends who were sitting next to me on the bleachers, we ducked out into an open classroom as soon as the crowd left. I showed him no emotion. I would not give him that satisfaction. But as soon as I entered the classroom, my eyes, blurry from the pain of damning up a pool of tears, soon could not contain the sadness… I cried and the tears were insatiable.
He had too much power. At that moment I think something changed inside me. From that moment on, I would never let a man have that much power over me….
And that’s something that happened to me that didn’t make me bitter, it just taught me to
guard my heart.
That’s why I was so SURE AshLee was going home. She wasn’t guarding her heart at all:(