Def: Romeo and Juliet Breakup- a breakup caused by parents
Has this ever happened to you?
I had two of these breakups.
The first one was with my high school sweetheart who I’m getting reacquainted with right now, and who’s given me permission to call him Sleepless in Seattle Boy:)
My dad pulled me out of boarding school and made me break up with him before summer break of my freshman year.
The second one was with a boy I met in college.
This time it was his mom who broke us up.
She thought we were too young and too serious, especially since he was still planning to go to med school.
At 18 (him) and 20 (me), I guess she had a point!
It didn’t end like this: (of course this Texas girl just needs a reason to play this lovely song.)
It’s unfortunate because it would have made for a great story and because he was/is an amazing man, and I have the highest respect for him.
But it’s fortunate because we’re both in different places in our lives, and we’re not the same people we were when we fell in love.
We had such a strong spiritual connection back then, but as the years passed after our breakup, I realized a strong spiritual connection didn’t make it a right fit.
I tried to picture what my life would be like with him in the future given our personalities and outlook on life, and I realized I was looking for something else.
It was a reminder that in life, everything happens for a reason.
Just because someone is a great woman or a great man doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you.
If I could look at my life now from the perspective of the heartbroken 20 year old, I wouldn’t change a thing. After we grew to love each other, life took us on different paths.
Here’s what I’ve learned from this experience:
Every person you date, you will break up with (or they’ll break up with you) unless you actually marry them.
I think we forget this little fact which leads to this next fact:
Not all people are meant to remain in your life permanently. Some are there for a lifetime, while others are there for a season. In that season, they’ll help you grow, help you discover, help you become more of who you’re supposed to be…and then when they’ve fulfilled their purpose in your life, they will leave, and that’s okay. Not every love is supposed to last forever.
If we view relationships and dating with this kind of perspective, not every breakup or separation has to end in regret, bitterness, failed expectations and disappointment.
Sometimes, people help us and then they have to move on.
They are there to help us grow in some area of our lives or to open us up to new ways of thinking, new experiences, and show us more of who we are, what we want, what we don’t want, and what we have to offer.
I like the message of this song:
…Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars pointing me on my way, into your loving arms, this much I know is true, that God bless the broken road that led me straight to you.
Not everyone is meant to stay in your life.
We can’t make people love us, but we can give them freedom to leave so that we can be available for the one who’s supposed to love us forever.
So take a look at your “ex files.”
What did you learn from each of these men/women?
No relationship should ever be viewed as a waste of time or a regret, as long as we leave each relationship a better person, more prepared for the one we were meant to love forever.