I love Patti’s show, Millionaire Matchmaker!

She offers some very traditional advice (no cohabitating before marriage, no sex until in an exclusive relationship… etc) but has the attitude that makes people take notice and listen. Just a few teasers from her book, Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate

(skip to 1:58 if you wanna get to the good stuff)

1. Thou shalt return calls promptly and honor thy dating commitments

Love it! I understand the appeal of wanting to play hard to get, but that’s not the same as being flighty and unreliable. You want to show you are responsible, have integrity and take your appointments and the people in your life seriously. When you show up when you say you’re going to show up, at the time you agreed to, you show that you’re not selfish about other people’s time. Selfishness or selflessness is revealed in the small things like honoring your commitments and being responsible about returning calls. Don’t be a flake!

2. Thou shalt let the man take the lead and shalt avoid bringing personal baggage

to the table

Amen! The ideal picture of coupledom happens when a man leads and a woman lets a man lead. When he pursues, he feels like a man. He feels like he’s earning and winning and competing and conquering uncharted territory, all things a man loves to do. When a woman throws herself at a man, he feels weird in that role. Flattered? Yes. I’ve talked to men who get pursued by women… and it kinda makes them feel like they’ve been put in an effeminate role. They’re feeling flattered… and a little less of a man as you’ve beat them to the goal and stolen their role of pursuer.

On the other side, women who allow men to lead also feel desirable, wanted, beautiful, sexy, attractive. If on the other hand she does all the leading and pursing, she feels unsure of his feelings, questions if he’s with her just cuz she made it easy… and the truth is… she’ll never have a clear answer for these insecurities lurking around in her mind, just because she took the reigns and pursued the guy to begin with. All this insecurity she’s building up causes her to lose what is most attractive in a woman: CONFIDENCE.

As far as the personal baggage? Ehhh… you gotta exude the happiest, most wonderful version of yourself! Dates are not therapy sessions! They are not somber chats on the sofa with your best friend and ben and jerry. You are in competition with all the other women vying for his attention. You don’t want your date to punish you by puking up sordid details of his past. Here, we practice the golden rule.

3. Thou shalt not drink too much on the first date

This is not the time for him to find out if you are an angry drunk, a sleepy drunk, a depressed drunk, or a horny, get-on-the-table-and-show-your-goods kinda drunk. He doesn’t want to get to know your drinking personality. He just wants to get to know you. And visa versa. How will you be a good judge of character and personality and values if you don’t even remember the evening? How will you wow him with your best self if you let alcohol do the talking for you?

4. Thou shalt not be a golddigger

A man can tell if your primary goal is a love of money instead of a desire for love and companionship. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with a man who has a steady, well-paying job, especially if you want to have a family in the future and envision yourself more as the nurturer and with the role of stay-at-home mom. Just make sure your priority is love over money. When you’re a gold digger, you can’t hide your colors. Sooner or later, he’ll see that he’s just a dollar sign to you.