Dating Advice

Part I: How to be a Better Girlfriend/Wife

photo by imru2b12 at stock.xchng

(I did an article on how men can be better boyfriends/husbands. It’s time to turn the tables!)

I love how men are mostly the same. All. the. time.

I’m talking about feelings. They feel pretty much the same every day.

It’s a refreshing predictability that is so foreign to me…

That I’ve really grown to appreciate.

Unlike us women.

I feel different almost every day.

And yes, it is the stupid women hormones.

Did you know that a woman is 4xs more likely to cry in any given situation than a man…

Just because of some anatomical feature on her skull?

Yes, those womanly differences– stuff like having more estrogen and having that special time of the month do have a bearing on our daily moods.

Anyhow, I know when I feel better, I’m naturally a better girlfriend. So the first part of this series is all about making changes in your life so that you feel better. Everyone around you, including and especially your boyfriend/ husband will appreciate these changes!

Here’s the Feel Good List! (my secret is out!)

If you feel bad…

  • Catch up on sleep!

    Take a nap without an alarm and wake up naturally when your body is done catching up on sleep. Yesterday I went home early (1pm) and took a TWO hour nap. I was in the BEST mood of my life after that. Do not underestimate the power of getting enough sleep. You eat more when you lack sleep. You feel worse. Your judgment is worse. You make bad decisions. You don’t look your best. It’s just all downhill from here if you don’t get enough sleep.

  • Take a refreshing shower and get dressed up ready for the day.

    A shower can do wonders. Especially if you normally lounge around in your pjs all day or work from home. So simple to just pop in and take a shower and get dressed up. But it is the difference between a lazy day grazing everything in site and feeling like a bum versus feeling productive and energetic and having a day full of purpose.

  • Eat more of the feel good foods.

    These foods are from the book The Good Mood Diet. I swear by these foods. I take this list with me every time I go grocery shopping so my fridge and pantries are always stocked full of “feel good” foods. They really do make you feel better! My reasoning is this: If I’m already going to have to eat something, might as well eat the things that are conducive to feeling my best!

  • Bananas
    Caffeine-containing beverages (1-2 a day)
    Cocoa powder (or chocolate in small amounts
    Dairy, low-fat or fat-free
    Edamame (green soybeans)
    Egg Yolks
    Fish and Seafood
    Flaxseed, ground
    Grape juice
    Greens, drak and leafy
    Green tea
    Lean, organic meat
    Olives and olive oil
    Popcorn, air-popped
    Pork, lean
    Sunflower seeds
    Turkey, light and dark meat
    Vegetable oil, unrefined
    Whole grains

  • Eat less of the feel bad foods.

    These are also from the same book and is suprisingly and refreshingly a very short list! Yay! I’m all about moderation so nothing should be off limits, otherwise you’ll feel deprived, but lessening the amount of feel bad foods in proportion to the feel good foods yields great results!

  • Alcohol
    Caffeine (large doses)
    Fried Foods
    Fatty Meats
    Fatty Snack Foods
    Refined Sugars and Starches (most often in packaged foods)

  • Eat only when you’re physically hungry and eat only what you really want.

    This is huge! When you eat only when you’re hungry and what you really crave/want–

  • The food tastes better
    You will start at a place of “emptiness” so you will recognize “fullness” better

    You’ll never feel deprived

  • Stop eating before you’re stuffed (don’t overeat).

    It’s amazing how much food plays a role in how we feel. Food can nourish your body or it can poison your body! It’s poison if you eat too much.

  • Get a massage!

    Everyone needs to be touched. Touch is healing. Get your boyfriend to do it if you’re broke:)

  • Wear only clothes that you feel you look good in and are comfortable in.

    There’s nothing like starting your day on the wrong foot by trying to fit into something that makes you either feel bad or look bad. Why would you do that to yourself?

  • Focus on what you can change. Accept what you cannot change.

    If you can change it, don’t act like the victim. Don’t give in to feeling powerless: “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” Alice Walker, you are brilliant. Basically, it is no use and a waste of time to fret or be depressed about how things are ESPECIALLY when you have the power to change your situation starting right now.

  • Don’t sleep in.

    Better to wake up early and take a nap later on. I’ve noticed that the first time your body wakes up is the right time to wake up. If you go back to sleep after that first time, you will feel groggy waking up later on.

  • Don’t eat a heavy high-carb breakfast.

    My boyfriend and I used to do this on Saturday or Sunday mornings and we realized we waste a day that way because we feel lethargic afterwards and don’t feel like getting out of the house. Now we just wake up, grab some coffee (it’s in the feel good food list!) and start our day upbeat and feeling light and energetic.

  • Incorporate movement and exercise into your daily activities.

    You know the deal with endorphins I’m sure. But, instead of setting aside a whole hour at the gym and getting bored out of your mind having to step on a treadmill and go nowhere, why not purchase a pedometer, make sure you walk 10,000 steps a day (about 5 miles) and go shopping? (or window shopping) Why not tour your downtown area and walk everywhere? Why not get some housework done or do some gardening? Why not run around with the kids? There are so many things you can do to incorporate exercise into your day. Cuz let’s be honest. You’d rather watch The Office on Netflix after work than spend a whole hour at the gym. Scratch self-discipline. Let’s multitask our exercise!

So the gist? Basically, if you take care of yourself, you will feel better. And just by feeling better and being less lethargic, whiny or moody, you will be a better girlfriend/wife.

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

Join the discussion

  1. Dave

    The first part of this reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend who was a bio major. She said “You try to be rational when your hormones are all over the place! I’m not kidding, you should see the charts!”

    Good points, on the eating carbs in the morning, don’t eat them (or sugar) right before bed either.

  2. Midorilei

    why not before bed, dave?

  3. Dave

    It messes with your sleep patterns and affects hgh release. As far as your body is concerned simple carbs are pretty much sugar anyway because your body converts them so quickly and they spike blood sugar levels.

  4. MidoriLei

    I do notice I sleep better when I don’t eat so much close to bedtime!

  5. Mike

    I’m not going to argue that caffeine doesn’t make you feel better, because I really don’t know anything about that. Caffeine though, has nasty side effects and is very addicting. It is actually very bad for your heart, and people in my office that drink a couple of cups a day for years have actually had their doctors tell them they need to quit because it is terrible for your heart.

    Here is an interesting article I found.

  6. MidoriLei

    I’m curious Mike, did they drink coffee all day long or only had 1 or 2 cups a day? cuz I know in excess it’s in the “feel bad list.”

  7. Allan

    Hey sister!

    I totally agree with Mike! In my book, chronic use (ie > 3 days) regardless of amount is bad for the body not just because of the immediate adverse affects (like hypertension) but because of the physiological dependency (the non-craving need). I should know, I’m trying to get off the caffeine pills but i can’t. I’m too tired to type it out my explanation. you should ask me on the phone sometime.

    btw, you should have a “subscribe to comments” option. look for a wordpress plugin. you should call me about it.

  8. Mike

    The fellow at work whose doctor ordered him to stop drinking coffee claims he only had 2 cups a day, one in the morning, one in the afternoon. It unnaturally increases your heartbeat, and getting dependent on something like that can mess with your bodies natural chemistry.

    You can’t believe everything that’s on wikipedia…but the page on caffeine is very detailed about the side effects/dependencies.

    I still drink caffeine from time to time when I feel I really need it, but like almost everything in life, moderation with caffeine is key.

  9. Mike

    Just to quote the link above:

    “In large amounts, and especially over extended periods of time, caffeine can lead to a condition known as caffeinism.[76][77] Caffeinism usually combines caffeine dependency with a wide range of unpleasant physical and mental conditions including nervousness, irritability, anxiety, tremulousness, muscle twitching (hyperreflexia), insomnia, headaches, respiratory alkalosis, and heart palpitations.”

    I think the extended period of time is the part to keep in mind.

  10. MidoriLei

    okay allan and mike, maybe subconsciously I’m taking your advice… cuz this morning I didn’t feel like having coffee! Instead I felt like having TAZO passion tea with honey and lime. YUM. yummmmeeee!

  11. Pingback: How to be a Better Girlfriend/Wife Part II

  12. Ellsworth Collado

    For abs, it will be good if you train them by alternating between upper and lower abs every day. Also, I have included compound movements for the biceps which will work the fore-arms too. So don?t worry about any parts in my workout?

  13. Victor Omoto

    Hi there can I reference some of the material from this entry if I link back to you?

  14. Errol Piccinich

    Valuable information and excellent design you got here! Keep up the good work !

  15. Kory Fakhouri

    I just came across cool joke – If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?

  16. Ricardo Rygiel

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  17. descargar series

    WOW just what I was looking for. Came here by searching for better girlfriend

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