Dating Advice

On Chemistry…

A powerful thing happens when two people have chemistry. It is nothing short of magical. I never date guys who I don’t have chemistry with. Chemistry is not synonymous with attraction. I have met some men who I am quite attracted to, but unfortunately, there is no chemistry. You’ve heard it before: no sparks, no electricity, no passion. Simply put, the idea of jumping his bones doesn’t cross your mind.

When I was new to the exciting world of dating, I used to kick myself over the head for not giving a guy a chance because of lack of chemistry. But then it dawned on me: beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and beauty is defined differently by every individual. One person might think someone is beautiful, while the next person may not agree. This is a wonderful concept because it means that somewhere out there, someone will find you beautiful. Someone will behold you and see beauty. I think it works the same way with chemistry.

If I force myself to like someone I don’t have chemistry with, I do not only myself a disfavor, but I do him a disfavor as well because I am keeping him from being with the person who does have chemistry with him. If people only had chemistry with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie look-a-likes, we would have a hard time populating the earth. In this world, one woman’s David Spade is another woman’s Brad Pitt. I have a theory on this whole chemistry equation. Could it be that nature makes it so that you naturally develop more chemistry with people you are more compatible with?

I have a close guy friend who had a close girl friend who he started liking. He is an extrovert and highly sociable; she IS the social butterfly. They get along so well, maybe too well. They are too similar. Later during the school year, he also became good friends with another girl, a girl completely unlike him. For some reason, the first girl just faded away and the new girl took her place. He was intrigued by her mystery, which I just see as, ‘I like her more because she is different from me.’ They had more chemistry because they were not like each other. They were more compatible.

So next time you have to say, ‘I’m sorry, I just don’t see you that way,’ and your friends say, ‘but he was such a nice guy!’ Just remember, you’re not rejecting him, you are freeing him up to find a person he is more compatible with!

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    Insightful post.. thanks! =)

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