Marry Me by Train
I LOVE this song. Something about it makes me think…
- I wish for every woman to end up marrying the guy who looks at her and sees forever. This seems simple enough… but too often women settle for being with the man who looks at her and just sees right now, she will do for now. Women, you deserve more. Settle for more. Deep down you know you can tell when you are seen as just an option.
- It reminds me of my dating years. How I have dated the guy who just saw me as an option. And all the while I wished and hoped and dreamed of the guy who only had eyes for me. At the time, I couldn’t tell the difference. I just knew I wanted a man who was sure about me. about us…
And… at the end of the day…
It makes me think about how beautiful marriage is. How people settle for something so far inferior, and never know what they’re missing. How couples shack up and keep each other waiting and wondering if forever will ever start.
It makes me think about how marriage is this bubble you create to protect two individuals from the world. You are stronger because of that bubble. You have more to give to those outside of the bubble because of the promise of unconditional love that feeds you.
You build this world, this secret world that is so glorious, words can’t even explain it. Until you are actually in the throws of it, you will never understand.
There’s a kind of peace that comes only from knowing you are unconditionally loved forever by this other human being who knows all your flaws and imperfections, who gets the best and worst of you every day, who has promised to love you till your dying day.
It is absolutely profound.
March 10th, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Interesting post, even though I don’t share you love of the particular song.
Keep in mind that everything you say about women settling for men looking for a “right now” thing is the same for men. Women are just as guilty of thinking about a guy in a relationship as an “okay for now” thing.
You even mention it yourself that when you were dating, you were always looking for the guy who only had eyes for you. That isn’t really fair to the guy you were dating at the time though, was it?
Using your logic, no one should ever enter into a relationship before they find the “one and only.” Unfortunately, that would make for a lot of very lonely and depressed people.
Whatever ills people in marriages suffer, sometimes it has to be weighed against other factors as well, like companionship, security, family, etc.
A romantic marriage of two soul mates is a nice thing to think about, however it is not the way it is all the time in this reality.
Devon
March 11th, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Devon, you’re right that men and women are guilty of sticking around when they know in their hearts it’s only an “okay for now” thing.
what I don’t understand is how it’s not fair to the guy I was dating at the time who didn’t only have eyes for me…
I never said that people shouldn’t enter a relationship before they find the “one and only.” what I’m saying is the moment you realize the person you are dating is NOT the person you want to be with forever, that’s the time to let them free. Staying with someone past that point is leading them on and tying you both up so you aren’t free to meet others.
A romantic marriage of two soul mates is not the way it is in this reality for many and it is definitely something that both people have to WORK at and prioritize each and every day. It never just happens… it is something created by two people who believe in it, value it, and are willing to work at it.