For Girls in a Relationship

Love Lessons From the Dames of Downton: What You Can Learn

Do you keep up with Downton Abbey? If you do, you’ll be sure to enjoy this guest post article:)

It has been determined that the American public can be captivated by the dry, slow-moving trysts and toils of a struggling upper-class WWI-era family, and we couldn’t be more excited about it. Our love of Downton Abbey proves we have an attention span and substance lurking underneath our Honey Boo Boo-clad exterior.

The love lives of the girls of Downton Abbey are a whole different story. They’ve showed us that you can blaze through social stigmas, defy laws, and twist your world upside-down for the sake of a love that’s built to last. They don’t compromise a single moment of who they are— yet they’d part the red sea for the men they love. This mastery of success in life and relationships transcends eras . . . these strong women offer inspiration.

Don’t Jump the Gun, Everyone Has Something to Offer: Lady Edith Crawley

While you may not have been left at the alter, many of us have felt crushed and jilted, had our feelings swept under the rug in the wake of an advancing world. This might have meant a bad experience from the Plenty of Fish dating site, or a singles meet-up that made you feel invisible. Poor Edith Crawley knows the feeling. The wallflower that has quietly yearned to blossom in her own way via her writing career, only to find out her new gentleman suitor has a secret wife. Broken trust is painfully difficult to cope with for an already low self-esteem. If you’ve found yourself in an Edith situation, let yourself weep with quiet dignity and forge through the let downs. Confront those who hurt you with poise and tact, be direct, and move on. If you stay true to yourself and uphold your composure, you never know who will take notice of the exceptional creature you’ve become.

Firm Boundaries Within Unabiding Kindness: Lady Mary Crawley

Mary is ever the eldest child, always on the front lines of family matters, and indignant about any matter that seems to get in her way. Her exterior often goes against the grains expected of her, but underneath she is perhaps the most polished and sturdy of all the Crawleys. She is fiery and elegant with a hint of a shrew that needs to be tamed. Early in the series, her self-sabotaging tendencies cost her heart dearly, and she must learn some love lessons the hard way. Luckily for her, it isn’t too late. If you’re a passionate woman with uncompromising beliefs and goals, use them as strength in your relationship. No matter how fired-up Mary becomes, through her family ups and downs, she never strikes a low blow. She treats Mathew with respect and admiration, even in the midst of volcanic anger. Lessons learned from Mary include not sabotaging true love in the heat of the moment, never rushing into something “just because,” and treating loved ones with grace and generosity.

Loyalty Through Thick and Thin: Anna and Bates

Bates is the type of man who, in the modern world, would stay up late ordering his love the perfect flowers online at, while she lovingly makes sure to complete his TurboTax paperwork and bring him a double-shot latte from Starbucks. Anna and Bates are the kind of couple that love stories were made for. She is patient and kind, docile yet persevering, while his appreciation of her is unwavering. They are quiet, unassuming, and they never give up hope for accomplishing their dreams. Anna is inspiration for that wedding you can’t afford, or the dream vacation that seems unrealistic. Just like Bates’ release, keep working toward your goals and let love lead you.

Widen your Parameters, Make Your Heart Happy: Lady Sybil Crawley

None too happy with the silver spoon, Sybil has been the altruistic rebel from day one. She is not afraid of getting her hands dirty and waving goodbye to comfort and stability for the sake of love and adventure. She’s the girl-next-door who brings home the guy with a mohawk and a tattoo who wants to live off the grid. She lets love expand her world and repeatedly flips her comfort zone the bird, without wavering in loyalty and devotion to the “chauffeur” she chose to call her own. Sybil graciously gives her all to the world around her and leaves no stone unturned in her quest to experience life. She is a lesson to ladies everywhere who dismiss good men on the basis of the wrong car, wrong job or wrong haircut. That vending machine repair man very well might have noble dreams and the best heart you’ve ever known, but you’ll never know unless you turn your nose back down next time he smiles at you.


Author: Marianne Cleary

Marianne used to be a homebody before she worked for a travel agency. Now she’s hardly ever home, and she loves sharing her adventures with readers.

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  1. Sam S

    Like the one about Edith Crawley. I can relate to her online dating experiences. It is best to be direct instead of lengthening out the pain between yourself and any chance of a relatoinship.

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