If You Want to Date an Ex…
(Photo by cmx82)
Be rational about what’s going on. Be more mindful of the present. Don’t live in the past.
Great advice from my friend, Mikey.
And it’s great regardless of what reason you broke up.
I wrote a post about why people have apprehension about dating and ex, and this simple piece of advice works out great for any of the reasons!
- If you had a great relationship, it’s important to remember that the person you dated before may have changed and that their present character is what needs to be evaluated. Revel in the nostalgia of a great past, but pay attention to who they are right now.
- If they broke up with you, it’s important that you’ve forgiven your ex for leaving you in the past. It’s important that you’re not holding resentment. It’s important to know why they broke up with you in the first place. In this case, if you want it to work this time around, you want to make sure that you’ve dealt with the issues that made them leave the first time, or they are willing to accept them now. Again, you have to remove yourself from the past and make it a point to look at the relationship in a new light. Hopefully the time you had apart helped you both grow in areas that were causing conflict the first time around.
- If you broke up with them, it’s important to see if the reasons why you broke up with them still exist. Will those issues pop up again and cause another breakup? If not, it’s important for you to focus on the present and make sure that you communicate openly with your ex and see if they are holding any resentment over the breakup.
Anytime you reconnect with someone from the past, it’s important to live in the present and accept the person and all the new changes that distance and time have afforded them.
It’s important to make sure you’re honest with each other about your apprehensions to try again.
Unless you had a completely mutual breakup, someone got hurt in the process.
It’s rare to find a breakup that was devoid of heartbreak for at least one person.
Are those past wounds going to affect your present situation?
The past is over.
The future begins now, so focus on the now.
