Dating Advice

How to Know You are Ready to Settle Down

How do you know when you are ready to get married or start the search for a life-partner?

“Dating is great and all, but have you tried marriage to the right person?”

I believe that men have certain windows in life. Youth is to establish identity, have fun and indulge in ludicrous activities from gaming all night to risky behaviors we would not be comfortable with our future kids knowing about. Then there is the window of establishing a career, setting goals and gaining experience. Then there is a time when a man is ready to commit himself to one woman for the rest of his life and start a family.

Sometimes these windows overlap, other times they are very distinct and have neon signs lighting the way.Men will date and have relationships through out these different phases of life, but only in the last window will he be ready to make his partner his life-partner.

It’s not that you meet the right person and this phase of life opens up, it is more of, it is the right time. Perhaps you have had your share of “crazy-exes” and swear you are ready because you finally met the right woman…but that’s not it. I really believe that most (NOT all) of your ex-girlfriends could have been the right person if you were ready.

So, how do you know when you are ready to get married?

1. You have prayed about it.

Take it to the Lord in prayer. Listen to the Holy Spirit. The most influential decision for the direction of your life is who you will marry. They will play a large role in spiritual life, happiness, success and stability. Do not make this decision without including it as a top matter of prayer.

2. You are ready to provide.

You have a job or a career choice, or are on a path that creates a sustainable income that you can combine with a partner’s to live a comfortable life within your means. You are financially planning for the future to ensure that you have a rainy-day fund and a retirement.

3. You are interested in more than looks.

Her IG pics aren’t the most important thing anymore, nor is how she looks as she walks into or out of a room. You want to know that she has a good heart, can hold a conversation, has her stuff together, and has no overlapping entanglements.

4. Pregnancies aren’t an accident anymore.

Pregnancies of your peers aren’t accidents anymore. You are starting to realize that children are a blessing from the Lord, and…perhaps …you would not mind having a couple of your own.

5. Commitment does not scare you.

You are no longer trying to avoid saying, “I love you,” or avoid introducing your partner as your girlfriend.  You are no longer worried about the grass being greener somewhere else or missing out on something.  When commitment is natural and easy, then you know your heart and mind are ready for the next step.


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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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