Find out how she likes to be loved by reading this book with her:The Five Love Languages
Don’t have time to read it? Take the 30 Second Quiz with her: Here
When she takes the quiz, you’ll find out her top love language. If you read the book, you’ll also find out where the others rank. For example, my top love language is Affirmation, followed Affection, Acts of Service, and Quality Time. Gifts rank last for me:
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
Having this knowledge is a really power tool. See, if I dated a guy who just kept on bringing gifts but never complimented me or verbalized his appreciation, he’d be spending money unnecessarily and I still wouldn’t feel satisfied in the relationship. I’d take adoring words over jewelry. But every person is different! There’s a place for all these love languages, it’s just a matter of figuring out which ones your significant other appreciates the most so you can put more energy into delivering those.
Here are some specific ways you can speak these five love languages: (Most of these are from my former boyfriends! So I know for a fact they will be appreciated!)
Acts of Service:
When you’re walking on the side of the road with her, be a gentleman and move over to the dangerous side of the road so she feels protected. Offer to carry her backpack.
Buy her lunch and bring it to her work, even if (especially if) it’s out of your way.
Help her with a project she has from school or work without having to be asked. Just say, “I want to help. What can I do?”
Surprise her with flowers at her work on a random, insignificant anniversary! My ex chose 2 months! Extra points because he got roses that were yellow with red tips. (knowing I wasn’t too hot on the red ones) All you need is her work address and you can send FTD roses in minutes.
Write her a love note. Written by hand.
Buy her favorite candy and hide it somewhere where she’ll be sure to find it later.
Make her a cd of songs and tell her “I think of you whenever I hear these songs. Now you can think of me thinking of you when you hear them.” If you can sing, make the last track of you singing a song you wrote for her. If you can’t sing, talk to her on the last track and tell her what you love about her.
Tell her, “You had me at hello.” (If it’s really true)
Whatever you’re thinking in your head, whenever you notice something about her that is wonderful, beautiful, admirable, adorable, sexy, cute (anything positive) or that makes you happy and grateful…. just say it out loud.
You can’t assume just because you think it, we know it. Appreciation is worthless unless it’s verbalized. All our effort to look beautiful and to be amazing is to get your attention. So if you notice, say something!
Tell her, “I love the way your mind works.” (if you really think that way)
Surprise her by hugging her from behind and kissing her cheek whenever she’s not looking.
Spontaneously grab her hand in public, bring it to your face, and kiss it while you look into her eyes.
Let her lay on your lap when you’re watching a movie and play with her hair. (EVERY girl LOVES this!!!!)
When you’re in public, whisper in her ear. Believe me, this is affection. The proximity of your mouth to our ears and the heat of your breath…. It’ll make us wish we weren’t in public!
Don’t limit your kisses to our lips. Kiss us on the forehead, on the nose, on our cheeks.
Put on some music, turn down the lights in the living room, and lead us in a slow dance. (We will melt in your arms!)
Once in a while, when your friends want you to play basketball, tell her you’d rather spend time with her.
Remember you don’t have to be doing anything to enjoy each other’s company. Girls just like to be heard. They like to talk. They like to share their thoughts and feelings. Men don’t feel this way as often or as much.
It isn’t quality time if the tv is on. It isn’t quality time unless she has your undivided attention.
Sit on the hammock together.
Watch the sunrise.
Stay up a little longer in bed and just talk.
You may not have this great of a need to talk or be heard. Part of loving her is acknowledging this need and providing it for her even if you don’t understand it or need it in return.
I guarantee if you find out her love language and start putting these things into practice, she will be happier! And for those of you who are married, you know the saying, Happy wife, happy life!