For Single Guys

How to Ask Out a Girl Who is Somewhat a Stranger


(picture via lelove)

You know the girl I’m talking about…

It’s that FINE girl in your archery class, bowling league, chess championship, or some girl you smile at every week at the hockey game…. HOW do you go about asking her out?

DON’T…


    1. Read into your interactions with the fair lady.
    Waste of time. She could be subtly showing she’s interested … OR she could just be totally outgoing and friendly and small talking your *ss, like every other bloke in the joint. There’s really no point in reading too much into it.

    2. Ask her out in front of others if they are within earshot. It’s a private moment. She doesn’t need the pressure of others chiming in if they are rooting for you two or the awkwardness of silence and pity if she says no…I would call her over right after class and ask her, “Hey can I talk to you for a minute?”

    3. Ask her if she wants to get a drink of water (If you’re at the gym or any other place that has water fountains nearby). Basically don’t pull her aside with an indirect question. What if she says no? Men should be as direct as possible. It comes off as more confident. If you say, “I’m going to get a drink of water, wanna come?” and a minute later you’re really asking her out, it’s a subtle way of being deceitful as your intention wasn’t really innocent and wasn’t at all about getting water. I know it’s a small thing, but it’s soooo important to just be to the point. “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” is honest and to the point. You give the air of confidence, and you’re not beating around the bush.

DO….

    1. Ask her out at the end of the event/class. Between the beginning or towards the end, I would choose the end as you never know if you will be accepted or rejected. It’s better to not have an awkward class or feel the pressure to be “flirtatious” or be constantly smiling or making eye contact during the class just because you started out setting the stage for flirtation by asking her out on a date. It’s already enough work to ask the girl out to begin with! Get in there and get out!

    2. Have an idea of what you’r going to say. At the end of the class, ask her out, saying something like, “I hope this isn’t too forward or makes you feel uncomfortable, (aww how humble and concerned) but I would be honored (complimenting her!) if you’d let me take you out to dinner (or on a date).”

    3. SAY the word “date” or “dinner.” Avoid the childish play; avoid the vague, cowardly ” lets hang out.” FRIENDS hang out. Buddies hang out. LOVERS do not “hang out.” Those words, “hang out” are the keys to the FRIEND ZONE. Also, don’t ask her out to lunch or to coffee. Show her you’re the gentleman, willing to fork up the bill for dinner, not trying to hurry love with a coffee date. Give her the time and the effort. They don’t make the expression “caffeinated and pastried.” Gentlemen, it’s “wined and dined.” Do it right.

And how do you seal the deal???

After you ask her out, then you just smile the kind of winsome smile that says I’m confident you are going to say yes! …and even if you don’t there are many fish in the sea, and I am a good catch!

If she says yes, then just say something to the extent of “Awesome, I’m looking forward to it.”

A wink at this point would be appropriate if you so dare and are up for it. and BTW, not just appropriate, but so absolutely HOT.

Exit with “see you later” and leave… ahhh you will leave her wanting more and super excited for the date!

Note: If she says no, just smile, sigh your sigh of disappointment and say, “Well, you can’t say I didn’t try.” Wink (heheee heee LOVE the appropriate, non-creepy wink!!!) “See you around” And leave.

At the very least she will think about what just happened and you will exit the situation looking like such a confident man!

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

Join the discussion

  1. Anonymous

    Awesome. Always looking for different opinions and information on how to date woman.

  2. ShyGuyInLove

    I thought on another article you wrote you said don’t do the dinner date for the first date. It’s cliche..

    • MidoriLei

      ShyGuyInLove,

      I think you’re right. Dinner dates aren’t the MOST ideal because the best first dates involve doing some kind of activity together where your focus isn’t primarily just on each other (It takes the pressure off of keeping the steady flow of conversation and you’re able to act more natural) but not completely distracted like with a movie. BUT a dinner date AFTER doing something together (putt putt golf or going to a shooting range for example) is always good.

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