Dating Advice

How to Approach a Girl…

(Photo by Woodsy)

Guys are pretty creative about picking up girls and trying to get a number. I applaud ya’ll! (there goes my Texas slang)

College boys are adorable. I work at a community college and was approached by a student on my way from getting my paycheck last week. Here’s how it went:

Guy– Hey, my friend wants to know if he can have your number.

Me– Where is he? Is that him? (pointing to random guys in front of us)

Guy– No, it’s actually me. {smile} {blush}

Me– What’s your name?

Guy– Alex.

Me– And how old are you, Alex?

Alex– 20.

Me– Sweetie, I’m 6 years older than you. {frown} You could be in one of my classes next semester!

Alex– That would be cool!

Me– For you! {smile}

Alex– Is that your way of telling me I’m not getting your number?

Me– {smile} Alex, I have to go back to work, but was nice to meet you. Have a good day.

Alex– Nice to meet you too–?

Me– Midori. {smile}

Alex– Midori. (We wave)

Alex made me smile that day. I know a lot of men are passive, but for those who make these courageous attempts, I applaud you. This is a shout out to all the men who put themselves out there to risk rejection time and time again. You guys are my heroes. Think of every “no” as a badge of honor and press on.

Here are some tips:

If you can, throw out a feeler. Read about it here.

The best pick up line is simple:

Hi, my name is _________. What’s your name?

Then you just proceed to find out something about her.

If you’re at a wedding, ask her how she knows the bride or groom.

At a party, as her how she heard about the party or how she knows the host/hostess.

At a convention, ask her how she’s enjoying the meetings. Did she like the last speaker?

At the dog park, ask her about her dog. What kind of dog is it? How long has she had it? What’s it’s name?

At the bookstore, ask her what she’s reading or what she’s looking for.

Just about anywhere, you can ask a girl,

“Do you come here regularly? I’ve never seen you here before.”

If her answer is yes, then you can flirt back with,

“Really? ‘Cuz I would have definitely noticed(or remembered) you if I saw you here before.”

That’ll make her smile for sure.

If you notice someone in a crowded party, have no connection to that person, and know you will probably never see her again, do this:

Go up to her and say,

“Excuse me, can I speak to you for a minute?”

(to get her away from the crowd)

“I know I sound like a fool and you get this all the time, but I’d be more of an idiot if I left here without speaking to the most beautiful woman in the room.”

(this works because humility is endearing, (even more so if you’re a really good-looking man because good-looking men tend to also be arrogant) and it plays on a woman’s vanity! We always love to hear we’re the best this, the most that. We like to know we stand out.)

“What’s your name? I’m _________ .I’m about to leave, but I wanted to give you my number, so you could call me sometime.”

(you have to have it already written down on a piece of paper so you can have a reason to gently grab her hand and place it in her palm while you’re holding her hand. Be bold! It’ll catch her off guard. You must smile the whole time. (no teeth) It shows you’re confident.)

Leave asap. If she asks, “Why should I call you?” the best response is:

“Because you’ve never met anyone like me.”

(shows confidence, shows you’re different, and gets her curious! Okay, and maybe we’ve watched too many romantic comedies! But it’ll work!)


“Because I’ll make you smile.”

(Girls want guys who show that they will make that effort in trying to make them happy!)

Note: NEVER, NEVER exchange phone numbers. Only one party should ever receive a number. If both numbers are exchanged, most likely, both parties will anticipate the other party will make the initial contact. What you’ll get is two people waiting by the phone. When both parties have the power to call, they’ll want the other person to call. If only one party receives a number, it is clear the ball is in their court.

Think of approaching women as a game so the pressure isn’t so great. I’m not promoting mind games; I’m just saying don’t be so serious about it. You’ll psyche yourself out. Besides, she’s just a girl. If it doesn’t work out with her, you have over 3 billion other women to choose from. Plus, if you treat it as a game, you’ll come off more relaxed and laid-back. I haven’t met a girl who doesn’t like relaxed and laid-back. Good luck!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

Join the discussion

  1. Dating Advice Lover

    These are good tips. Too many guys think a creative pick up line is best, but really it’s best to just introduce yourself.
    Easier said than done though.

  2. MidoriLei

    This is why I’m glad guys approach girls more!

  3. Pingback: How to Flirt with a Girl | Dating Advice From A Girl

  4. Alexwebmaster

    Hello webmaster
    I would like to share with you a link to your site
    write me here

  5. bill

    These tips make sense, now I just have to try them, lol

  6. Anonymous

    I think that it is a very interesting and amusing article. Practically all its main points are true.

  7. Anonymous

    Great tips here. Just have a system, know where to go and understand sexual tension. Thanks for sharing this.

  8. Anonymous

    Ill be contributing your blog to my feed, many thanks.:)

  9. Anonymous

    Hi, fine clause, you placed still if you don’t mind I’d impart few points out about approaches girls or men. Peculiarly it can be serious when it gets to man woman relationships. The significant matter is your mental attitude, which should be attached and active. If you have an position like that, any person shouldn’t mark any difficultness that you have speaking as reading. When you originate a conversation, you commonly need to demand safe doubts that are confident not to cause her any uncomfortableness. Once the conversation takes some momentum, you can claim more personalized wonders. A good magic is to learn some questions she made a point of so whenever the conversation decelerates, you can boot one of these questions.

  10. Elvin Wydeven

    The style of writing is very familiar . Have you composed guest posts for other blogs? I mean really beautiful for me

  11. T.S.

    Every “no” may be a badge of honor, but after earning a few too many Purple Hearts, a guy may eventually get tired of fighting and want to just go home.

  12. MidoriLei

    T.S. true. But let me tell you, when you win the heart of a wonderful woman, all the bruising your heart had to take before hand will be worth it!

  13. Jeff

    Guys!!… im confused here!!
    its been 4 months since our college has started and we both have become best friends as we both sit together in each and every class and she tells me about her life and so do i!… she asks me to fight for her when she is arguing and she fights for me when i am arguing…. i keep on giving her sketches of her… and she very happily takes them,… today she asked me to sketch something on her wrist.. and i did it for her… every morning and every evening we give a partial hug to eachother… and she keeps on telling me that im her best friend and she does not trust anyone except me! but then today, i asked her about her ex- boyfriend who is still trying his best to win her best… but she told me that she did not want to go back to him coz he never used to let her talk to other guys and he had even hit her twice…. but she even said that sometimes she cant resist him in her head.. and that her ex is still in touch with her!… do u think her ex can cause problems?… im really in love with her but dont know anything about her emotions towards me!…. so if u can make out something from this story, please let me know asap!.. thanks

  14. MidoriLei


    her ex can definitely cause problems. You are the nice guy stuck in the friend zone. You will never know anything about her emotions toward you unless you make a move.

    all you have to do is read this:

  15. Jeff

    then should i directly ask her out???… wont that be very abrupt?… is there any indirect way(any question which i could ask her) to find out her answer???

  16. MidoriLei


    If you want to get out of the friend zone, ABRUPT is the only way to do it otherwise you will look like a pussy for trying to beat around the bush! (sorry for my language but I’m trying to make a strong point here.)

    Just get over the fear of rejection and face up to the fact that in order to get what you want you must take a HUGE risk.

    With relationships, with huge risk comes great results or none at all. with mediocre, timid moves, you’re going to get a girl who is also lukewarm.

    You want fire in your relationship! passion! So you gotta bring it.

    There is no indirect way, meaning there is no EASY way to get the answer you’re looking for.

    Tell her you’re crazy about her and see if you can steal a kiss:) The reason why she has a hard time resisting her ex in her head is because he’s probably the kind of person who goes after what he wants and isn’t afraid of the response. That’s probably how he won her over in the first place.

    You have to go after what you want. That is the hottest thing you can do. Say goodbye to timid. You have to be BOLD.

  17. T.S.

    Not to undermine your original point, but don’t you think it would’ve been better illustrated with a story that ended with a “yes” than one with a “no”?

    (And for the record, the “Purple Heart” metaphor in my earlier post wasn’t meant to refer to a bruised heart, but rather the decoration soldiers get for being wounded in action i.e. the “badge of honor” you referenced earlier).

  18. MidoriLei


    Ha! You make a good point! But, to me the rightness or wrongness of the approach is not validated by a yes or a no. It’s just important that men do it and get comfortable enough to do it often and accept the inevitability of a no. I just want to give guys more ideas on how to go about it. Men will get “no’s” and that’s just something to accept as part of the process. It’s a numbers game. And for many men, there will be many no’s before there is one amazing yes. But the yes will be worth all the nos.

    My point in writing this one article is to help men step beyond their comfort zone, even if it’s just a baby step, by throwing out the “feeler.” It’s a way to gauge interest or lack thereof before going in for the big guns (asking for a number or a date)

  19. Chat Boy

    Are you formulating virtually all your current content? Then, you possess a really fantastic publishing technique. You’re writing quite seductive stuff, also it has been a turn on visiting here. Reading through your content brought me pleasure in addition to determination. I’m just attempting to understand via various internet sites in order to to further improve my personal site. Thanks for the tips : )

  20. Katia

    After going over a few of the blog articles on your web site, I truly like your way of writing a blog.
    I saved as a favorite it to my bookmark webpage list and will
    be checking back in the near future. Please check out my web site
    as well and let me know what you think.

  21. India

    If you get rejected, play it cool. Don’t look upset. I had a kid ask me to hang out then when I said no he ran away.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *