I wrote this letter to my future husband back in 2008, and have gotten an overwhelmingly positive response both on yahoo and on here! A kind gentleman even was inspired to write a “response” version back. You can read his letter response here. And just today, a reader made a very specific request:
dear ms midorilei, ur letter was amazing. really amazing. uv put it into words perfect enough the emotions of a chrisian woman who has been waiting patiently for her mr. right. i thank u for the encouragement this letter of urs brought to me and my friends. ur life is a testimony of God’S power in our love life. my friends and i are really curious about what happened to ur life after writing this. hehe would u mind sharing it to us? how did God brought u ur mr right? i hope u wouldn’t take this action of mine as an intrusion. seeing how GOD works on the lives of other people is very encourAging. especially that he is a personal GOD and he could do 1000 things in 1 million different ways, or even more. hehe that makes us even more excited. i hope u really could reply to this. GOD BLESS u maam.
So dear reader, here is my story:)
Back in college, I fell in love with a guy. I mean, head over heels CRAZY in love. It was love at first sight. I remember the first day I saw him from across the room at a choir rehearsal. My heart wanted to leap out of my chest. It seriously played out like a movie, our eyes darting back at each other, everyone around us moving in slow motion, and because it was a choir rehearsal, there was music in the air. I thought he was the one. I crushed hard for eight months wondering if I was seeing things or if there was really something there. Still, I stood my ground. I did not make the first move. He was my singing director (even though he was two years younger than me), and every time he directed our group, I was on cloud nine because I could stare at him as long as I wanted to.
Finally, a romance blossomed between us. It was intense because his mother didn’t want us to be together (she thought we were too young to be so serious) and short lived because I had to move back to Texas and leave him in Florida. That whole period in my life proved to be one big drama partly because he was deeply introspective and introverted and unlike many guys I’d known or dated in the past, he knew his way around emotions, and it literally took me three years to get over him. I remember feeling totally heartbroken, realizing the “breaking” of the heart can actually be felt physically. I swear sometimes I’d cry myself to sleep and I could actually feel physical pain deep in my gut.
After time had knocked some sense into me, I realized I didn’t want to be with someone with a melancholic disposition, not because it was something negative, but because I wanted someone opposite of me to compliment my also very introspective personality.
After that breakup, I remember praying to God, telling Him,
“I suck at this dating thing. I really do. I have had a boyfriend, pretty much one after the other since I was 13. I don’t want to lead guys on. And Lord, I don’t EVER want to go through this heartbreak ever again. Please, I pray that the next person I date, is the one that you would have me marry.”
The Next 5 Years
God was faithful in answering this prayer…
I kid you not, I did not have a single DATE or get into a single relationship for FIVE YEARS. There were crushes that never crushed back, pseudo dates where I thought something was there, but the feelings were only on my end, guys interested in me who totally creeped me out, and some near misses. Something always came up, and I’d never go on that date, and nothing ever blossomed into a relationship.
In 2006, 0ne of my great friends from my year teaching high school in Jefferson, TX encouraged me with her words,
“Midori, now that you are single, NOW is the time to have faith. You can’t have faith once God brings him. You can only exercise faith when you can’t see what you want.”
And I really really took that to heart and ran with it. I wanted to show God that I trusted him. I started to see my singleness as an opportunity to demonstrate my faith to God instead of a burden that could bring me loneliness and anxiety because I was a lady in waiting. From that moment on, I didn’t feel like I was waiting for anything. I felt like It was my chance to allow God to test my faith, and I embraced it.
It was in the midst of all this struggle with dating (or NOT dating) when I realized God was just answering my prayer! And that’s when I was inspired to write that letter to my future husband. I wrote it in 2006, but I published it in 2008.
Then in January of 2009, on a sunny Sunday, Nate, my former high school sweetheart called me from Seattle. I tried with all my might to hide my nervousness. We dated when I was a freshman (he was a sophomore) for 11 months, but my dad made me break up with him before summer because he caught me laying in his lap in the dormitory lobby. My dad’s rule about boyfriends was that they always had to be a arm’s length away from me. (Of course that was unrealistic!)
Nate’s twin sister had found me on MySpace. He was newly single, and she told him I was single. His mother and brother also asked him randomly, “Do you ever still think of Midori?” And he said he always wondered what happened to me. So his twin sister got my phone number for him and he called me. We talked almost daily from January to March. I visited him in March using my girlfriend as an excuse.
Since I hadn’t seen him in 12 years, coming off the airport, I was soooo nervous, I had to check my hair, teeth, makeup and outfit in the airport bathroom mirror about a dozen times. I couldn’t bring myself down to the baggage claim area to meet him! He ended up calling me asking where I was, and I said half jokingly, “I’m hyperventilating in the bathroom!”
Finally I came down to meet him, and when we hugged it was like the hug of the century. Every inch of my body just melted into his arms. It was like a hug of relief but also like a fire inside me had been kindled. Remember, I hadn’t dated anyone in FIVE years, that was no kisses, no hugs, nada. So it was just this most amazing feeling to be wrapped up in his arms. And the crazy thing is that hugging him felt whole, like our bodies fit like a glove.
Fast forward, after I visited in March, I moved in May, two months earlier than I planned. My best friend and I drove across the country, packing my tiny silver Honda civic with my belongings and my Great Dane Lab. It was a complete surprise when at 2 in the morning, I called him and told him, “I’m cold outside.” He was like, “Why are you outside at night?” I said, “I’m in your driveway.” It was the BEST surprise for him. We couldn’t stand the long distance anymore, and having me move two months earlier than planned was the best gift ever.
We dated for 7 more months and then got engaged New Years Eve.
July 31st, 2010, 7 months after we got engaged, we got married in a tiny little town of Yelm, WA, beneath the pines, in the presence of God and 60 or so of our closest friends and family.
God is faithful. Nate is not only my best friend, I don’t care what the cynics say, he is my soul mate. He is the one person who knows me through and through and loves me anyway. He is strong where I am weak, and I am strong where he is weak. And our life and marriage are not perfect, but I promise you, I couldn’t find a more perfect person for me if I tried. He is the most generous man I know; he is the BEST man I know. And he really, really has eyes only for me. He even told me if anything happened to me, he would never get remarried! I feel safe and secure in his love, and I feel safe and secure in our home because not only is he a good provider, he can build anything, fix anything, and is prepared for anything. When I think of what a “man” should be like, I think of my husband. And I am so confident that he will know how to teach our future sons (God willing) how to be men of character, integrity, work ethic, kindness. He makes me a better person, and I am the best version of myself around him.
We will be married two years end of this month, and the time has flown by like a dream.
I don’t even remember what it was like being single, so all I can say is that those five years don’t matter because once Nate came along, those years are a distant memory. Nate was worth that wait, more than worth it.
That’s what this song talks about, how time doesn’t matter once love is in the picture:
So I encourage you ladies to look at your singleness not as a curse, but as an opportunity to demonstrate to the God of the universe that you have faith in Him, that you trust him to meet all your needs for companionship and love. And be patient. Because love is patient, and you will be learning this lesson over and over and over again. So start learning it today. There is no desire that God has placed in your heart that he cannot fulfill.
One thing that really helped me while I was single was to think of God as my husband. In all the love lyrics, because I didn’t know who my husband would be, I put God in that role. Like in this song below, think of God as the lover of your soul, your husband. This concept is totally biblical:
For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.
Close your eyes while you listen to this song, and let the words just penetrate you as if God were serenading you because He does feel this way about you. And He did do everything He could so that you would be His…