How Do You Know He’s The One?

Men I’ve Dated

I have dated some amazing men. I dated a man who wrote me over 200 love letters and even made a video telling me his feelings. I dated a man who also wanted to wait until marriage to have sex for the first time. I dated a man who drove across the country to reunite.

I have also dated some guys who immediately gave me red flags. One guy was addicted to ecstasy and raving. One guy just wanted to mess around and didn’t want to be official. The first guy I ever dated broke up with me in public!

Of all the men I dated, what set Nate apart? I’ll get to that in a sec.

A Conversation With my Mother-in-law

Last week, Nate’s mom and stepdad spent time with us. His mom and I got to talking one day about how they moved to this tiny little town of Berea in Jefferson, TX. They moved from the Seattle area, and that’s how I met Nate. Nate’s mom thinks of the Seattle area more like home. I told her,

“If you guys had never moved to that tiny town, for that little bit of time, I never would have met Nate…That’s a harrowing thought!”

This July 31st will be our two year anniversary, and now that I’m married, it’s hard to imagine what life was like when I was single, and I can’t picture being married to anyone else. He is not perfect, but he is perfect for me.

Source: via Jazmeen on Pinterest

What Makes Nate Different from All the Other Men I’ve Dated

Of all the men I’ve dated, as amazing as some of them have been, Nate is the only one who makes me feel like I’m the only girl for him. He makes our story feel isolated.

Like there was no past before we met, and there will be no future if one of us dies. Like this is our story, and the only reason why we met is because the story wouldn’t have an end without us being together. It would come to a screeching halt.

Other men have made me feel special, but Nate makes me feel like he had no choice in the matter. We belong together. We are soul mates.

And maybe that’s why I take great care in the maintenance of this union. Because deep down I know that if something ever happened to one of us, any relationships after could never compete. And so I want to make it the best it can possibly be with God’s help and our willingness.

What it Means When People Say “You’ll Just Know.”

People always say, When he’s the “one,” you’ll just know.
And it’s true. And I’m here to make it less vague a concept.

Your man, if he truly belongs to you, will know 100% that you belong to him, and his confidence in that will make you feel truly loved and secure.

He will let you know that loving you is not optional.

Something deep within him will give him the motivation to pursue you as if you were a tall glass of cold water and he is a man who is stuck in a desert. You are the only thing he sees.

“The one” will be crazy about you. If you are with someone who is not crazy about you, you are settling. Plain and simple. You are settling.

Advice for Men and Women

And gentlemen, if you are “eh” when you think of the woman you are dating or the idea of being with her seems optional, she’s not it for you. If you can take her or leave her, but the next girl in line seems just as great, do her a favor, and leave her because she deserves to be with a man who truly, truly cherishes her and can’t imagine life without her.

Ladies and gents,

we live only once. Let us settle for more. Let us love passionately
or not at all.

Source: via Stacey on Pinterest

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

Join the discussion

  1. questions to people

    I like this article!!!! So interesting
    Other way you can who is the indicate when the actions and situations that live together make you happy

  2. Deb

    Hi…. Lovely article. just wht i needed. Thanks 🙂

  3. Craig

    I’m glad that you have found and experience daily that sort of happiness!
    There have been a few women in my past that I felt that way about… unfortunately in each instance that feeling wasn’t reciprocated. The older I get (I’m almost 31 now), the more I feel that the dream of having the sort of love you have will never happen for me. I used to feel inspired when I saw people fall in love and get married, but now it’s starting to hurt. I haven’t ‘given up’, but I’m learning to deal with the fact that mutual love isn’t going to be a part of my life.
    Not loving at all is a poor substitute for being in love, but it’s a heck of a lot less painful than having your love not requited!

  4. Ams

    Great article. I’ve also heard many people say ” you’ll just know”, but I can’t help but wonder why a good 7 out of 10 married couples I know literally seem beyond miserable in their marriages. It makes me very sad & even wonder why do people get married ? Did those couples not ” know” he/she was the ” one” God placed for them ? I am 25 single normal woman lol, and I’m waiting completely for that one special guy. A guy who will love me more than alcohol, his friends or video games.. I actually feel as if I brush guys off too quickly but come on, I’m not going to marry an uneducated video gamer who lives w his mom & thinks paychecks are meant for strip clubs & bars. Honestly where are the real men at ?! The ones who love the Lord, who listen to Him & want to be a spiritual leader. They say Christian women are too picky, well I’d rather be picky then marry a man who thinks as the world does..

  5. Dazzle

    I quite agree with you AMS. If only men would take their positions as head once again and strive to be the best at both physical and spiritual fields. It’d save ladies a lot of singlo-marital troubles(whatever that means): better decision making and less confusions in choosing partners. I’ve met lots of men that seem to be only after physical attraction and what they can get from the relationship either to increase their reputation or flaunt you like bought property. Its so pathetic

  6. Craig

    These are women I’ve dated. Sure, there have been crushes I’ve felt passionate about too, but I forget them within 5 minutes of them saying no.
    There’s only been one girl in my dating career who was crazy for me, but sadly I knew she wasn’t right for me.
    Just this week I expressed to a lady who I was seeing, how much I enjoy getting to know her and looking forward to it continuing, only for her to then vanish… no phone calls, no emails, nothing.
    Nowadays these heartbreaks seem to make me think ‘eh’ with every woman. Better to be safe than sorry.

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