Tonight I was spending time with Nate after a long day at work, eating dinner and relaxing. I told him that the best part about having him around is that when I’m with him, I feel most like myself. I think that’s what it’s like to be around a soul mate – whether it be a platonic or a romantic relationship, one thing is the same:
When you are with your soul mate, you feel like you are alone, but you are not lonely.
What do I mean by this? With most people, you feel like there is “work” involved. There is the need to hold a conversation, have fun, entertain each other. It’s an unspoken pressure, but you know it is there because you feel the need to be “on.”
Compare that with how you are by yourself. When you are by yourself, you kick back, relax, do your own thing. There is no pressure to do or be or say anything because it is just you.
The problem with solitude though, is that it can be relaxing, rejuvenating, and restorative only for a while.
Eventually, you start to feel lonely. Go even longer and you start to go crazy.
That’s the beauty of a soul mate: it is the cure to loneliness without the pressure of being “on.”
It’s how you feel around your best friend. And if you choose right, you can marry your best friend! Nate told me one of the most surprising revelations was that he could have a wife and that same person could be his best friend. He always assumed they would be two separate people. You have your woman, then you have your buddies, and those worlds would never intersect. I think the best marriages are those that find this happy intersection.
Like Julia Child and her husband Paul:
I love this song by Tim Mcgraw, it makes me think of soul mates:
Don’t settle for just a lover when you can have a best friend and a soul mate too…