(myspace entry June 30, 2006)

What great gravity is this that drew my soul toward yours?
What great force collapsed my orbit, my false state of wholeness?
What is this that wants in me the want in you?

(Inspired by “Blue like Jazz” by Donald Miller)

Do you think that love is a choice or something that you have no control over????

Can you choose who you fall in love with? What do you think???

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  1. Nathan

    That’s a very tricky set of questions you pose, mainly for the fact that so much of the answers depend on the definition of love and what context you are addressing it in.

    We have little control over the butterflies experienced upon encountering an exceptional human being. Those lovely little tingles when you graze the hand of someone special are an automatic reaction . And the warm melty feeling we get from locking gaze with that person who for some inexplicable reason we find entirely amazing isn’t something we make up our minds to experience. Those things just happen.

    But that’s not really what love is about, is it? I believe love is a conscious decision. “I chose to love you.” That might take a lot of work, but that’s what commitment is about. The things that draw us together might not be conscious. The things that *keep* us together are quite intentional.

    I just found [ ], and I really like the theme:

    “Loving someone means making the choice everyday to treat them with love and respect.  Committing to being committed and choosing to work on your own attitudes and habits … giving someone what they need the most when they deserve it the least…doing your best to be selfless and serve one another… even, and most of all, when we don’t feel like it.”

  2. MidoriLei

    Nathan, I’m starting to think YOU should be writing this dating column and not me! lol

    Guys and Gals, read his comments! Wisdom my friend. I couldn’t have said it better.

  3. Nathan

    Look what I just found:

    “It’s not based on anything involving the beloved but a commitment on the lover’s part. Yes there are variables that you love about this woman, but those can’t be the reason why you love her. If there are no other variables besides a choice and a commitment, it means that no matter how much the beloved changes, the love of the lover won’t change.

    Don’t attach love to a condition, to an adjective that may change. It’s a choice that you’ve chosen her, not because of who she is right now (because that may change) but just because you’ve made your choice. And that choice happens to be her.”

  4. MidoriLei

    oh yeah! i wrote that! lol 🙂

  5. steve

    I think falling in love takes work and the ability to take a risk, now staying in love is an entirely different story.. lol Enjoyed the post keep up the great work :0) Cheers!

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