For Anyone Who Has Ever Struggled with Their Weight: The Best Weight Loss Resource I’ve Come Across

    Note: I’m talking about weight in a relationship column because physical attraction in our non-platonic relationships is important. And I know so many people struggle in this area. It also is directly related to having confidence. Inherently we know that we are first judged by the opposite sex based on what we look like. And for those in a relationship already, remember that love can be unconditional, but desire IS CONDITIONAL. You don’t just want love that lasts forever. You want your partner to desire you sexually for as long as possible. Keeping your weight within the healthy range is also a gift you give your partner because if you married a gentleman or a kind woman, the last thing they WANT to do is get on you for your weight. That’s why it has to be the gift you give them. Don’t hate on this fact. Embrace it and make the effort to be healthy, get your weight under control, and reap the benefits of more energy, a brighter outlook and more confidence.

On that note…


I had not weighed myself in almost a month and OMG OMG OMG.

I gained 8 lbs.

You shoulda seen my eyeballs pop out of my head.

I was literally in SHOCK.

Maybe you don’t think 8 lbs is a big deal, but on a little, petite 5’1 Asian girl?

Let’s just say we don’t have long torsos or long legs to hide any “excess” weight.

It probably has everything to do with the fact that the last 2 weeks Nate and I have been eating all prepackaged food, and I have been eating a lot of sugar:(

For the past 2 and a half years of being married, I’ve cooked almost every day, with the exception of eating out once or twice a week.

This once a week restaurant outing on date night gives me a break.

The other restaurant outing is usually with girlfriends midweek.

With this system we’ve been able to save money, pay off debts, and enjoy healthy eating the majority of the time.

Nate works 11-14 hour days and I work 15-20 hours a week outside of the home, so making sure we are fed has always been something that I’ve taken on myself.

He gives me the gift of being the primary breadwinner, I give him the gift of making sure we are well fed.

And two weeks ago, I was completely, COMPLETELY burned out by cooking.

For one, I don’t love cooking as a hobby.

Some people love it.

The whole process of chopping and stirring in ingredients and planning.

For me, it’s definitely a chore, slaving away in the kitchen.

Unfortunately Nate and I both feel the same way about cooking.

What I DO love about cooking is how happy it makes Nate because he favors home cooked meals more than anything we can buy in a restaurant.

Everyone’s always talking about NOT eating processed food. And for two weeks, I have personally reaped the unfortunate consequences of this kind of lifestyle.

I’ve also noticed that I’m also eating more BECAUSE prepackaged meals aren’t as good as home cooked meals:(

Basically, eating this way for the past two weeks was really like we were eating out every. single. day.

I was out of my mind shocked that I had gained 8 lbs because I’ve still been working out an hour every weekday!

Cray cray!

Which reminds me of what every personal trainer/weight loss guru has been trying to hammer in my head:

20% is exercise. 80% is FOOD.

So for anyone who doesn’t have enough time for exercise, there’s really no excuse because exercise is only 20% of the equation. You can change your eating habits without devoting any extra time.

I asked Nate if he has noticed my weight gain and he said, “A little.”


Thankfully, I’m back to wanting to cook again:) Fabio’s meals have gotten my mouth all watering up.

For all those who have ever struggled with their weight, this book below has been the best resource I’ve come across regarding the issue. Having a weight issue begins with the mind, and that is what this book addresses. It addresses the spiritual/emotional connection and gives real, practical solutions and exercises as well.

A Course In Weight Loss

If you’re like me and can’t finish a self help book to save your life, I recommend popping in the book on CD in your car CD player and listening to it on your daily commute.

Some great quotes from the book that have really helped me, as simple as they sound…

” If you give your body what it needs, healthy food and movement, it will give you back what you truly want: a good body, health and well being. “

And for anyone who has ever been told the message growing up that being beautiful or wanting to be beautiful is somehow inherently “vain,” “shallow,” “frivolous,” “sinful,” or “wrong,” this might resonate with you:

“The same God who created the roses, created you. The real you, like the rose itself, is naturally and unselfconsciously beautiful. And the world is more beautiful because of it.”

Hiding away behind excess weight, wanting to be invisible, feeling like you offer more to the world by diminishing yourself, saying that the outer appearance is meaningless if we just take care of the inside, these things do nothing to glorify God.

You, like a rose are one of his beautiful creations.

Your beauty is part of the landscape.

Are you a rose in hiding?

Are you damaging his creation?

Are you marring the temple in which he dwells?

I know I have.

Fortunately for me, fortunately for all of us, His mercies are new every morning.

Today, I woke up feeling more motivated than I ever have felt before because it’s not just about losing weight.

It’s about being the person God created me to be, and that in turn gives Him glory.

Can you relate to any of this?

Here are a couple of other posts I’ve written about this topic that you may have missed:

Unconditional Love, Conditional Desire
Should You Lose Weight for Guy? (And Some Advice for Guys at the End)

How to Help Your Wife Lose Weight and Gain Confidence
Beauty is a Beast

Have a great weekend!

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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