There is nothing better than food when you are hungry. Everything tastes better, luxurious and decadent, flavors have layers and dance on your tongue. Even something as simple as fruit. Finding the one, the perfect piece of fruit for you; it’s magic.
My first choice is always mango. All day every day. And when you find the perfect one, squishy, deep almost an orange yellow; the first bite of flavor explosion and sweet juice throws a samba party for your taste buds. It makes everything right in the world.
Unless you are full. Then it could be the perfect mango, the best samba party, but instead of pure blissful mango joy, you’ll end up with post-Thanksgiving dinner misery.
Now, if you have a mango that is not ripe; one that is still hard, bright yellow, almost green and you bite that; ohh, the rejection is immediate and reflexive. Sour-pucker-face hits as your taste buds revolt and throw off their samba dance party gear in anger. The calamity of eating a fruit before it was ready, ripe or right. It doesn’t matter how hungry you are, that mango will never satisfy you.
I think finding the one mango that is right for you and finding the one person right for you boil down to two simple things:
1. Picking the right one
2. Picking it at the right time
These are two separate ideas that are confused to be the same thing, but seeing them as two separate principals can save heartache and time.
Paulo, my mango
Paulo was perfect for me. And he agreed. He said our chemistry was amazing. He was drawn to my charm, wit, intelligence and beauty. After roughly two months of dating we still had not progressed beyond dinner at a restaurant one to two times a week. And while I LOVED to eat, I wanted more. I wanted to get serious. I was finding the one, and I wanted it to be him.
Somehow all of our dates we had glossed over this topic of conversation, which is not my usual MO. So, after a rain-check from him on a dinner date because his to-do list was “too full” I politely sent a text along these lines:
I think we are looking for different things.
I want something serious and am getting the
impression you do not. Unless I’m mistaken,
I think we should call it.
His reply was kind, considerate and genuine. He relayed his disappointment but kindly and clearly expressed that he did not want to dedicate time to a serious relationship or any long-term dating.
Finding the one: While Paulo was the right mango for me, it was not the right time for him.
The rule for mangoes are an easy dating lesson to us all; you need to make sure you pick the right one for you and that it is the right time for both. If not, even if you have found your perfect mango, let it go. If it isn’t the right time for them, then it isn’t right.
I was relieved to find out that Paulo was not my ripe mango. And when it happens to you; you will be too. The last thing I want for you or for me is to waste time and emotion in our search for The One.