For Girls in a Relationship

Definitely, Maybe: Exactly the problem with how we view relationships

Hate that movie. Just watched it last night after raves from my roommates. I’m sorry. This is just a ranting session, but it just reminds me of why relationships end in divorce.

America is so non-commital.

Like the main character in this movie played by Ryan Reynolds, we put our dreams above our love interests. What happened to that I’m-yours-forever-you’re-the-only-one-for-me kind of love?

It’s been replaced by, well-we-hit-it-off-and-we-can-do-this-until-one-of-us-gets-in the-way-of-the-other-person’s-dreams-or-someone-else-comes-along-who’s-more-exciting.

*spoiler warning

The guy chooses his career over love?
Then the guy kisses two other girls before proposing?
Then the girl he’s proposing to admits to sleeping with his roommate?
Then the next girl he’s with chooses her career over him?
Then he declares his love to Emily in a drunken stupor before he proceeds to tell her to go to rehab?

When did love become so selfish?

Or only good for ones own self interest?

All I know is that I don’t want that flaky Definitely, Maybe Hollywood kind of love.

I want the Definitely kind of love that lasts.

I want this kind of love:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies.

(taken from 1 Cor 13 The Message)

ahhhh alas, writing is my therapy!

Rene Olstead hit it on the head:

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  1. Dave

    I actually liked that movie and think you’re mischaracterizing it a bit.

    “The guy chooses his career over love?”

    I don’t think he chose his career over love, he went to New York to pursue his career and asked her to marry him a few months later when he was set up.

    “Then the guy kisses two other girls before proposing?”

    I thought it was just one other girl, and what’re you gonna do? Small-town guy off in the big city kisses a cute girl. Not exactly the end of the world, he didn’t sleep with her or anything.

    “Then the girl he’s proposing to admits to sleeping with his roommate?”

    Maybe they were both too young for that kind of comittment? And yes, women sleep around waaay too much. 😉

    “Then the next girl he’s with chooses her career over him?”

    Yeah, she screwed him a bit, but she was more in love with Kevin Kline, right?

    “Then he declares his love to Emily in a drunken stupor before he proceeds to tell her to go to rehab?”

    I think that was April (God it’s embarrassing that I know that) and when else do secrets like that come spilling out? He was depressed, wasted, and lashed out at her perceived rejection. I think the characters were fairly humanin the movie, not the insanely contrived ones you’ll find in a movie like The Notebook, which I was forced to endure on a plane ride to Hong Kong next to my sobbing ex-girlfriend. Personally, I prefer the realism of a movie like this to the over-the-top love you find in most Hollywood romances.

  2. MidoriLei

    ahhhh, oh the humanity of it. Yes, I believe the movie was more realistic than the notebook. Maybe that’s why I hated it? lol I guess i just don’t like that the kind of love that ryan reynold’s character had for these women was always shaky. And he did kiss two girls before proposing to his college sweetheart. Or rather the one girl kissed him and then he kissed April. If he really loved her, he wouldn’t have kissed those two girls. I’d like to think it wouldn’t even be a temptation. Small town boy going to the big city… he has no excuse. I know that most people define having sex as cheating, but in my book, kissing two other girls is already cheating.

    and whoops, i think I did get the names mixed up on that last one!

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