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  10. Ruth S Kay

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  12. Confused

    I wanted to ask this girl out, but I wasn’t been able to muster the courage. She is a teller at my bank. I tried on three different visits to ask her name and if she would have lunch with me? I can talk her like I’ve known her her for years. I saw her for the first time at the end of November, so a little over 3 month. I know our interactions have been brief, between 5-10 minutes at a time, but we seem to get along.
    Would it be ok to meet her in the parking lot after work? Or is that unacceptable? Should I ask her if I could talk to her after she gets off work?

    • MidoriLei

      Hi Confused,

      It would be ok to meet her in the parking lot after work but ONLY if you first ask if you can talk to her after she gets off work or on her break and she AGREES to meeting you in the parking lot. Otherwise, it would feel creepy and stalkerish if a guy were to just meet a woman in a parking lot without first getting permission. PLEASE heed this advice.

      My preference is that you just be straight up and while you are at her window say frankly in a whisper, “Hey, I know there isn’t a best way for me to go about doing this but since this is the only place we interact, I was wondering if I could take you to coffee or lunch sometime during one of your breaks.” (minimal commitment on her part since she doesn’t know and trust you yet, and better than the parking lot because it’s on her terms and not just outside where she may feel unsafe like you’re going to try and get her in your car or something bizarre) If she agrees, ask for her number. Don’t offer yours. Asking for her number gives you control of the situation and makes you take the risk of calling her instead of her having to call you. Say, “You made my day. Let me get your number so I don’t take up more of your time, and we’ll discuss the details later.”

      Good luck!

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