Best Questions To Ask A Potential Love Interest
If you’re just looking for casual questions to ask someone on a first date, go here.
If you want to know what to say when you approach a girl for the first time, go here.
(Below are more serious questions)
After you meet a girl/guy and while you are establishing a friendship, you should get answers to these questions before you start dating. These important questions beg for an answer. They reveal a lot about what that person expects, and what that person is looking for in terms of their dreams, their spouse, their leisure time, and their ideals.
1. In an ideal relationship, what would you spend the majority of your time doing?
You need to be with someone who you would actually hang out with, someone who enjoys the same things as you. Yes, you can share each other’s different interests, but that’s why you need to ask this question, to see if you would enjoy adapting to their interests or if they would enjoy adapting to yours.
2. What do you expect from a guy/girl you’re dating? or What do you expect from a man/woman in your life?
You’d be surprised with the answers to this question. As humans, we assume that people have the same expectations that we do. Unfortunately, men and women are wired differently. That’s why this question is important. Not only are we different because of our genders, but we’re different because each person’s past experience helps mold their expectations and each person’s past experience is different.
3. What is your idea of living a good life?
Here you get a taste of what motivates the other person. You’ll get a taste of what drives them, what gives their life meaning and significance. It also gives you a view of what a future would look like with them.
4. What does a good relationship look like?
It’s always nice to know what the other person views as ideal in their eyes. You can see if you’re looking for the same thing in terms of what makes a relationship good.
5. What are you looking for in a guy/girl?
Let them name the top three qualities that are non-negotiable.
6. What have you learned from your past relationships?
Ideally, it would be nice to go through each of your past relationships, not to relive pain or point out the mistakes of your exes, but it’s important to know that the person you’re with has learned from their own mistakes and isn’t just moving forward ready to make the same repeat mistakes with you.
—————————————-
Give the person time to think about these questions. They need thought. Most of them can’t be answered right away. These are deep questions that could lead to lengthy conversations, but it’s important to know what you’re getting into.
Failed expectations are what causes a lot of disappointment. If you know what the other person expects and desires from the onset, you know if you’re able and/or willing to meet the other person’s needs and wants.
It beats questions like, “What’s your favorite color?” In the scheme of things, questions like that don’t matter. You also need to know about how the other person feels about kids, (yes, no, number, who raises them) lifestyle locations, (city, suburbs, country, nomad) marriage, (soon, later, never) religion, (same, different, important, not important) family, (close, absent, involved) recreation, (outdoorsy, night life, traveler, sporty…)
Those things can be discovered when you’re dating already. Some other ways to find out more about the person you’re dating is to take a Myers Briggs personality test, the Strengths Test in Now Discover Your Strengths or go to match.com or eharmony.com and create a fictional profile, answering all the questions together.
Relationships are work. It’s always going to be challenging to try to love someone who’s different, but the more information you have, the more prepared you’ll be.
January 8th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Most people couldn’t tell the answers to 80% of these questions even if their life was depending on it. I pulled this trick couple of times on a date and it ended up in a disaster.
January 24th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Wow… I’m going to have to disagree with some of the advice you’re giving guys. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cute advice… but it’s not practical.
Emotions are not a choice… that includes attraction. A guy can’t help who he is attracted to. On the other hand… chicks can’t help who they are attracted to either.
No amout of “common sense” or “rational” you try to put behind it… you will never be able to “talk” your emotions out of the way that they do.
Again… cute advice… but impractical…
April 25th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Sound advice- gets beyond career and taste and into values.
July 9th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
I would have to agree with about 99% of the information here. To love someone (who they really are) is a daily choice. Yes, you can’t help who you are attracted to or love, but you can’t really fall in love with someone if you don’t know the answers to the above questions. If more people new the answers to the above questions, they would either not be married or would not get divorced. But then again, some people don’t want to go deep. And marriage is not for everyone.
August 10th, 2008 at 12:13 am
This information is a accurate as it gets. I used this on my current girlfriend before we started dating and well…we are dating so it worked. Answers don’t come fast but they will come and this set of questions is simply perfect.
Very practical, it works like a charm…
February 10th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
Good day I just wanted to ask you all stop through at http://www.helphaitinow.org
September 11th, 2010 at 6:25 am
The style of writing is quite familiar .
Have you written guest posts for other blogs? I mean really truthful for me
November 17th, 2010 at 8:51 am
Insightful page, very helpful, good website as well, so appreciate it, will bookmark.
November 24th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
I agree that failed expectations cause disappointment. That’s a good reason to be yourself and not try to fit into somebody else’s idea of a good partner.
Readers might enjoy this article: “Good Conversation Starters: 3 Sure-Fire Tips to Flirt Successfully and Break the Ice with Women or Men.” Go to http://bit.ly/dYVVOl
December 7th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Hi, your site completely makes me think of a great website I saw on how to get pregnant fast.
December 26th, 2010 at 1:25 pm
My 2011 might be greater with this idea!
January 25th, 2011 at 7:51 am
I think about another good question on first date
What do you prefer to have together? a baby boy or a baby girl????
If he still did not run… so I recommend you check with him this amazing site which teaches how to choose the sex of the newborn
http://www.conceiveaboyguide.com/
Good luck
February 4th, 2011 at 12:54 am
This is interesting advice.. while these questions are very good and useful, i would add that the timing of the questions is important also.. You don’t wanna scare the other party away..
February 20th, 2011 at 5:12 pm
To someone who said that most of those question could’nt be answered I can say that maybe that was the wrong person you asked all that then
everyone who has some common sence and thinks a little bit could answer that. And if he/she cant do that, then well…. in that case I think I would have my answer if that person is worth my attention 
February 22nd, 2011 at 6:47 pm
Laura, so true. The kind of person who is willing to invest some thought and provide you with answers shows that he is more serious and thinking more long term than the person who can’t answer them or doesn’t want to. It’s not that they can’t be answered. It’s that some people aren’t willing to answer them. It also shows that the person actually cares about relationships and how to make them work.
March 8th, 2011 at 7:59 pm
So J prom is coming up and I really want to ask this girl. Shes been a friend for the last 4 years, but shes been going out with one of my friends for the last 1-1.5ish, its just that they have broken up at the mo and no one knows if they are gonna get back together. But since they have done that like 3 times already, idk what will happen. But anyway, Idk what I should do. I don’t wanna offend my friend (the guy). I asked da gall what her plans were for J prom and she was like, I’d go if someone asked me. I wanted to do it right there and then but I controlled my self lol. What should I do??
March 10th, 2011 at 5:44 pm
Rahul, ASK HER! her comment was a hint to ask her! But if you don’t want to offend your guy friend, run it by him and let him know your plans to ask her out. Don’t ask him for permission (as she does not belong to him and they are broken up) but just let him know your plans so he isn’t shocked when you go together. If he is like “That’s not cool! Don’t ask her to the prom!” then you have to say, “Sorry, she’s a free woman, she’s going to have to make that decision.”
March 25th, 2011 at 12:09 pm
lady and sports woman very romantic and worker…serious ..
April 1st, 2011 at 10:30 am
The questions are relevant & important but not sure if the other person would run the other way if you asked these questions to early on and particularly if you’ve only been a couple of dates. It may seem like you are getting too serious, too quickly. I think at some level you do start getting indications of answers to these questions naturally, in general conversation. So for example:
1. In an ideal relationship, what would you spend the majority of your time doing?
When you are asking someone what their interests are, how was their week etc and of course how available is this person to meet with you – you start getting an idea if he has time and space in his life for a relationship… Without actually having to ask the question directly.
April 5th, 2011 at 5:59 pm
AS, i love the way you sneak it in a normal conversation! I do agree with that wholeheartedly!
June 2nd, 2011 at 6:06 pm
[...] knows? Talking about this movie over a nice dinner might even open the door to ask some of these [...]
July 24th, 2011 at 9:44 pm
1, 2, and 5 are the same question worded in three different girly ways.
December 12th, 2011 at 11:03 pm
Hey Datingadvicefromagirl,
In addition to your post I was wondering, Many people have questions related to their love life. Some go through tough time with their partner whereas some find it very difficult to find a life partner. Problems related to love life can make it very difficult for you to concentrate on your personal and professional life. That is the reason why many people to make use of free tarot reading and free psychic online to know how to deal with their love life.
Keep up the good work
January 6th, 2012 at 1:15 am
[...] you get the idea!) Here are some fun questions to ask someone you are interested in >>>Questions to Ask A Love Interest<<<<< Here is another link to some really great Nubian Poetry [...]
January 6th, 2012 at 8:08 am
Back when I did my mountain ops training, I once accidentally knocked my helmet off a cliff. I dove for it and caught it before it went over a sheer drop. To my credit I caught it. To my detriment I almost fell off a goddamn cliff to save a helmet.
January 22nd, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Hi There
I think, its not just the answers that count, what counts the most is, if he just knows, what he/she is looking out of you, is clear, straight forward and honest
Regards