Dating Advice

Be Authentic With Your Significant Other

“Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.”

-Dinah Shore

When I was in high school, I dated the most amazing guy who seemed almost too perfect in every way. What made it worse was that he put me up on this pedestal and I never really believed that I was that girl he admired. I spent our whole relationship trying to be perfect: trying to match that idea of the girl he had in his mind. In my mind she was his creation, and I was the actress trying to play a part. If I ever had a bad day, I would try my best to look cool, calm, and collected in his presence, always positive and upbeat. Then I would run to my dorm and vent the truth to my friends.

He started to realize that I kept all the bad stuff from him, and only let him in on the good stuff. One day it all surfaced. “Isn’t that perfect though?” I asked him. “To me you have it made, you only get the best of me. Isn’t that what you want?” I mean, I didn’t want to be a drama queen. I didn’t want to be one of those girls.

“I don’t want the best of you, I want the real you, warts and all. I’d rather take the good with the bad than settle for something that is less than authentic,” he said with a smile.

That was really nice to hear. I guess the genuine gentlemen out there really want a genuine girlfriend, and genuine means real and authentic, not picture perfect. It’s easy to love something perfect, but true love is tested when it is put through difficulties.

After our conversation, it dawned on me. He didn’t want me up on a pedestal to admire from afar, he wanted me in his arms so he could love me. There is an innate need for a man to protect, shelter, and provide: that’s his way of showing his love and displaying his masculinity. So instead of playing Ms. Independent at all times, I embraced the role of damsel in distress when real drama came into my life…and there he was, my prince charming!

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Join the discussion


    Very true.. it’s important to be authentic right from the start.. once we start hiding behind a mask.. it starts snowballing..

  2. tracy

    very nice, I have been trying to look for this. Thanks!

  3. Lisa Shield

    I love what you wrote, but I feel like I missed the end of the story. Did the two of you ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after? What happened?

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