Avoid The Passive Man
So many men are passive, just like this sentence. The problem with passive sentences is that they tend to bore the reader and the reader loses interest. The problem with passive men is that they tend to bore women and women lose interest.
Men are passive about:
* Pursuing women – maybe it’s the lack of a “biological clock.” Maybe in an effort to empower women through feminism, women have started pursuing men, and men would rather just sit back and wait. ( We thought we empowered ourselves by taking on their role, but instead we ended up cutting them slack in the dating department and making them passive.)
* Finding what the heck it is they were meant to do in this life – My brother told me once that because a man’s role is to lead, he needs to be clear about his plans. That way, a woman can respond in her given role and say “Yes, I’m willing to follow you in that dream,” or “Adios, good luck with that,” and move on.
Part of a woman’s security and fulfillment in a relationship is knowing that she can support a man in his dreams and that she is proud to back him up. That is why she needs to know what it is that a man wants to do with his life.
Here’s what relationships without a purpose look like:
We view love relationships like this, but this gets old really fast. You think you’re getting bored with each other, but really you’re getting bored because you are living without a purpose beyond yourselves.
Living just to please each other makes for a stagnant existence, because you’re not moving forward.
Here’s what relationships with a purpose look like:
We need to view love relationships like this. This never gets old. You don’t have time to get bored because there is a goal in mind.
Living to serve together makes for an exciting, fulfilling, meaningful existence because you’re moving forward and in the same direction.
As humans, we were meant to bring something to this earth while we are here, not just live to consume. Deep down we want to know that our existence was meaningful. That’s why it feels good to serve.
It’s no wonder my heart shut down when a date told me, “Oh, I don’t volunteer.”
It’s no wonder my heart opened up when a guy told me, “I just want to make a difference…”
The first showed passivity, an existence that lacked selfless service. The second showed activity, an existence that displayed a desire for selfless service. Now that’s hot. The problem with passivity is that women want to see a man in action. That’s why the players get the applause and the benchwarmers get ignored.
September 22nd, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Complaining about passive people is about as passive as it gets.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
[...] He actively initiated interest. By active, I mean he wasn’t passive. [...]
May 28th, 2010 at 1:55 pm
You know this made me think of a quote. was something like: “All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” Amerindo Waldo Emerson
August 28th, 2010 at 11:12 pm
Sorry, I don’t know many ‘players’ that volunteer. But I do know many quiet, emotionally “passive” men that do volunteer. Some wait for women to make the first move and some don’t. Players are good at pretending to care about women until they get what they want from the woman.
Don’t believe me? Look up the book called “The Game”. It cites a number of other pick-up ‘artist’ books that encourage men to use whatever means they can (including dishonesty and psychological abuse) to get women interested in them
December 15th, 2010 at 3:54 am
Hi. First of all – fantastic blog! Secondly this article was also good and interesting to read, but I don’t think everything you have said is how it is in reality. I will need to google about few things you have mentioned in your artcile to make sure. But anyway thanks for taking your time to write intresting artciles and good luck on writing other articles. P.S sorry for bad English, I aren’t English native speaker.
January 27th, 2011 at 8:45 pm
Passive men, Passive women. Active men, Active women. Which one leads, which one follows? Which one makes things happen, which one waits for things to happen? Which one thinks, “I wonder what they think of me?” Which one thinks “I wonder what I think of them?” Which one moves. Which one sits. Which one has strong opinions. Which one takes whatever comes. Which one is conscientious? Which one is careless? Which one is for you? I know which one is for me.
February 4th, 2011 at 1:24 am
Nice post.. according to my female friends, it’s really true. They find men with purpose in life more attractive! =)
September 14th, 2011 at 1:38 pm
trying to find you, do you have fb?
September 14th, 2011 at 4:57 pm
bored, sorry I only sneak around my hubby’s page:(